CommunityPam's House Blend

Addicted to Oil? Try Nucular Power!

As Pam noted below, the Smirking Chimp is smack dab in the middle of Operation Kick The Oil Addiction photo op tour. Will we get as much effective action from this posturing as we did from Operation Gulf Coast Three Days Later, Operation Mission Accomplished, and Operation Grandstanding On Pulverized Towers? Only time will tell, but I’m not encouraged by the lack of firefighters in his latest photographs.

C- Augustus trumpeted the beginning of Operation Kick The Oil Addiction on his Saturday radio address, which I listened to because I’m a fan of unintentional comedy. (There were some problems in the transcript; someone at the White House keeps misspelling “nucular”…)

This morning, I want to speak to you about one part of this initiative: our plans to expand the use of safe and clean nucular power. Nucular power generates large amounts of low-cost electricity without emitting air pollution or greenhouse gases. Yet nucular power now produces only about 20 percent of America’s electricity. It has the potential to play an even greater role. For example, over the past three decades, France has built 58 nucular power plants and now gets more than 78 percent of its electricity from nucular power. Yet here in America, we have not ordered a new nucular power plant since the 1970s. So last summer I signed energy legislation that offered incentives to encourage the building of new nucular plants in America. Our goal is to start the construction of new nucular power plants by the end of this decade.

After I stopped laughing, I had these four initial thoughts:

1) Wait a minute… we’re supposed to emulate France now? This American of French descent is so confused. One day I’m eating freedom fries and the next I’m supposed to embrace froggy’s energy policies?

2) When it comes to running highly radioactive nucular plants, where a single accident can annihilate a three-state radius for 10,000 years, I can think of no group better equipped to deal with it than the gang that couldn’t save a city from a hurricane, couldn’t manage a war against a third-world country, couldn’t ensure the safety of mine workers, and couldn’t protect us from 19 al Qaeda terrorists with box cutters, even with plenty of warning and acknowledged experts telling them exactly what to do and what to expect.

3) Ah, yes, no greenhouse gases or air pollution, but plenty of highly radioactive waste that they want to ship by train all over the country to store in a mountain on a fault line sitting over the aquifer that serves Las Vegas and Southern California. No group would be better equipped to deal with that than the gang that brought us new mercury-enhanced fish, three-eyed amphibians, clear-cut forests, strip-mined mountains, and leadership that doesn’t believe in global warming, evolution, and the potential of embryonic stem-cell research. (But to be fair, maybe they’re going to import scientists from India or China.)

4) No new plants since the 1970’s? I wonder why that is. Gosh, it’s on the tip of my tongue, but I just can’t recall… Michael Douglas, Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon… Man, it’s just a mystery, Mr. Bush!

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