The Ballad of Dick Cheney

Thought he was a bird… Posted by Picasa

Come and listen to a story about veep named Dick
Went out shooting quail, but he shot himself a hick,
Had a few drinks, thought he’d have himself some fun
Turned to left and he shot the wrong one

In the face, close range, ow that hurts.

Well the security said, Dick get away from here,
Get back to the lodge and have yourself a beer
We’ll clean up like we did with Valerie Plame
The victim can’t talk, so he’ll be the one to blame

Later, that is. In the morning. Have another drink.

Well the press they started to make a mighty fuss
The White House said, don’t blame it all on us
Talk to the veep or Mary Matalin
Set it up with Hume, he’ll help us with the spin

Softball questions. No follow-up. Fake journalist

Well Dick went to Brit and he told a big lie
Said he was sober and he hopes the guy don’t die
Then went back to his bubble, kept from out of our view
With a message for David Gregory: Hey Dave, fuck you.

Now the moral of our story is that Dick can do no wrong
Fighting for America, got to keep the country strong
Gonna keep us out of wars so we don’t get stuck
And if you hunt with Dick Cheney, then you better learn to duck.

Y’all fuck off now, y’hear?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....