CommunityFDL Main Blog

Secret Cave Blogging

**Put down all liquids before reading. You have been warned.**

As proof that we have some brilliance in the comments, one of our readers has uncovered a secret Osama blog entry. Guess the federal government spending oodles of cash on blog trolling might be a good idea. Let’s take a peek:

"Today, my dialysis machine started making a funny noise. It was scary, but it seemed to be working all right.

"Omar thinks I should get a haircut. He says I’m looking a little ragged. I told him, ‘what does it matter? I haven’t been putting out any tapes.’ He said it was just for my own good. Maybe I should. I haven’t gotten enough ‘me’ time lately.

"The Infidel keeps ignoring me. I mean, after all that shit I pulled, it’s a little frustrating that they won’t even return my calls. Maybe I should try e-mail, but I might have to go to a public library. I hate touching the keyboards at public libraries, ’cause I suspect there are plenty of perverts who use them to try looking for porn, and then go and whack off in the bathrooms. Who knows where their hands have been. Certainly nowhere I’d want mine to be. Eww. Plus, I can’t stand to look at the veins popping out of the backs of the librarians’ legs. I wonder if I could get wifi out here. I’ll ask Omar.

"Three of my wives have been starting to complain about my sex drive. I considered having them killed, but I guess they have a point. I’m depressed. It’s probably from not getting enough sunlight, down in this cave. It’s like seasonal depressive disorder full-time. I don’t think I’ve had an erection in weeks.

"Oh, well. Rahim is coming over a little later, so I should probably take a shower soon.

"Current Music: Radiohead – Sit Down, Stand Up

"Current Mood: Tired *_*"

Big thanks to reader J Crowley for the enormous laugh this morning.

(If you were somehow stuck in a cave and missed the magic that was Gary Larson’s Far Side, they’ve issued a complete set from 1980-1994. Bwahahaha.)

Previous post

Reuters: Pope meets Laura Bush, says worried about terror

Next post

Christy Hardin Smith

Christy Hardin Smith

Christy is a "recovering" attorney, who earned her undergraduate degree at Smith College, in American Studies and Government, concentrating in American Foreign Policy. She then went on to graduate studies at the University of Pennsylvania in the field of political science and international relations/security studies, before attending law school at the College of Law at West Virginia University, where she was Associate Editor of the Law Review. Christy was a partner in her own firm for several years, where she practiced in a number of areas including criminal defense, child abuse and neglect representation, domestic law, civil litigation, and she was an attorney for a small municipality, before switching hats to become a state prosecutor. Christy has extensive trial experience, and has worked for years both in and out of the court system to improve the lives of at risk children.

Email: reddhedd AT firedoglake DOT com