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God made the Seahawks lose because Seattle supports gays

It took me a second to realize it was satire, since it was as ridiculous as any of Fred Phelps’ pronouncements:

Anti-gay activists to picket Seattle Super Bowl letdown
by Goldy, 02/06/2006, 11:15 AM

The anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS, announced plans to picket Seattle’s civic mourning in the wake of the Seahawk’s disappointing loss in Super Bowl XL.

The city’s championship dreams collapsed last night under the weight of sloppy play, questionable clock management, and drive-killing penalties, which the Rev. Fred Phelps blamed on “divine retribution” for recently passed gay civil rights legislation, declaring “The Lord works in mysterious ways… and sometimes through the zebras.”

Rev. Phelps struck a similar chord in talking about Seattle’s Super Bowl loss, saying that God chose to torment fans with momentum-turning penalties and dropped passes in retaliation for the city’s unholy abomination: “God hates Seattle! It was Seattle’s fags who hardened God’s heart, and it was God’s wrath that turned Jerramy Stevens’ hands to stone.”

And no, this wasn’t a transparent attempt for me to talk about sports on Pam’s blog since my own blog is currently being revamped and moved to a new server. But, since we’re talking about it, I’ll note that this is the first Super Bowl where the losing team gained more yardage than the winners and had less turnovers and held the ball longer. It’s also interesting to note that Ren Roethlisberger’s QB rating was a pathetic 22.5 (the value ranges between 0.0 and 158.3).

We now return you to non-sports related dialogue, already in progress.

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