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Rude Pundit on the Cartoon Fracas

From the South Park episode “Super Best Friends”, where Jesus introduces us to “Buddha, with the powers of invisibility; Mohammed, the Muslim prophet with the powers of flame; Krishna, the Hindu deity; Joseph Smith, the Mormom prophet; Lao Tse, the founder of Taoism; and Sea-Man, with the ability to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish.”

I’ve been reading a lot of posts about this whole Muslim cartoon riot story. Shakespeare’s Sister does a good job tracking it, and within her comments a GRUMPY OLD MAN who lives abroad and actually speaks Danish weighed in.

But nobody wins the “Radical” Russ Nail on the Head Award except The Rude Pundit, who hit the nail on the head so directly and with such force it was like driving the golden spike at Promontory, Utah:

But the thuggery that’s being done allegedly in the name of a few sh*tty sketches of Mohammed published in a Danish newspaper is smoke and mirrors, a bullsh*t blow-up over a few bullsh*t cartoons that a bunch of bullsh*t opportunists used to create bullsh*t advantage to their bullsh*t causes. Such utter nonsense, because not only are the cartoons themselves six months old, but that Mohammed’s kisser’s been “depicted” since, you know, say, the start of Islam. So, hey, hush, don’t let anyone know that Mohammed’s one of the Super Best Friends on South Park or they might start burning Cartman in effigy.

Oh, but Rude Pundit, you left out freedom of speech and the right of a free press to blah, blah, blah, some might say. Oh, but Rude Pundit, you left out cultural relativism and the respect of others and imperialism and oppression of the West and blah, blah, blah, others might chime in.

Here’s the deal: in America, right now, the American Family Association, whose protests helped the NBC program Book of Daniel fail, got the network to drop its planned storyline in an episode of Will and Grace with Britney Spears as a conservative Christian TV host whose cooking segment is called “Cruci-fixins.” The Family Research Council got the Department of Health and Human Services to delete any pages that asked for acceptance of homosexuals to help lower substance abuse and suicide rates among them. Some pencil-pusher in the Bush administration is tellin’ NASA scientists that they have to call the Big Bang a theory so as to not offend the intelligent design lovers, who have so much science on their side. And let’s not even get into the whole morning after pill controversy, or a thousand other scientific policy decisions that have been manipulated or forced by the fear of offending the religious right in America, the power of faith over reason.

Oh, but no riot, right? Maybe not yet, but ask yourself: how much of a nudge would the nutzoid zealot mob outside of Terri Schiavo’s clinic have needed before sh*t started being torched like scared villagers outside of Frankenstein’s castle? Hell, some crazed [vulgar description of Ann Coulter’s genitalia] were calling for armed intervention.

It’s all about exploitation. Whether its Donald Wildmon, James Dobson, Tony Perkins, or whoever, someone’s gonna be there to manipulate people into believin’ that their god is so much f*ckin’ bigger than everyone else’s. Behind almost every action where someone’s wielding a Bible or a Koran or Dianetics, there’s someone who wants money and/or power, and he or she is gonna convince the least among them that their really big god needs him some lovin’ and obedience by everyone goin’ a little bugf*ck insane.

Preach on, brutha! The religious extremists here at home had their little “War on Christmas” fun a couple of months ago, where they cried about the evil lefty secularists who are so politically correct they seek to abolish all mention of Christ in Christmas in favor of “Happy Holidays”, lest celebrants of other religious holidays feel slighted. But really, “Happy Holidays” just says, to them, that their God isn’t so much f*ckin’ bigger than everyone else’s, and that’s what gets their panties in a bunch. They’re not satisfied with following their own religion; they demand that the rest of us follow it, too.

The only difference between our religious nutcases and their religious nutcases is that ours have nice homes, hot & cold running water, supermarkets, shopping malls, satellite TV, luxury vehicles, reliable electricity, a somewhat relaible electoral system, a strong and effective police force and court system, a majority population that is pretty much agnostic and relatively sane, and many more things to lose that make the idea of torching a Planned Parenthood clinic, a gay bar, or the ACLU’s headquarters a losing strategy.

For now, anyway.

South Park is copyrighted, as is that image above, but I post it here in accordance with “fair use”, in that it is a low resolution still of a film; it does not limit the copyright owners rights to sell the film in any way; the image is provided at the official website (southparkstudios) as a free download; it allows for identification of the characters: the super best friends; it illustrates the film in question and aids commentary on the current events about blasphemous depictions of religious figures in modern cartoons. So please, Matt & Trey, don’t sue us!

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