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Bahamas school official: Lesbianism=bad grades

I had to read this editorial twice to make sure that I wasn’t imagining things. This represents some of the most unhinged thinking on the planet (not counting the plentiful U.S. wingnut theories, of course). It appears that an epidemic of lesbianism in the Bahamas is causing grades to plunge (someone get Willie Wilson on the phone!). (The Freeport News):

If the problem is as serious as has been suggested by Stephen Plakaris, deputy director of government school security for the Northern Bahamas, a much bigger crisis exists in our school system than the disgraceful “D” average performance that is now the norm nationally for students in government schools.

In an article published in The Freeport News on Tuesday, Mr. Plakaris confirmed that there is a network of lesbians operating in private and government high schools in Grand Bahama. “Unfortunately we cannot deny it,” he told our reporter, adding: “To deny it would put us in a situation where we’re looking at ourselves in the mirror and pretending we don’t see what is there.”

Didn’t he know that I have been working with my local contacts there to disseminate The Homosexual AgendaTM? Our work has been effective because the Ministry of Education’s Security Section clearly has no idea how well we’ve infiltrated the schools…

Although he could not say how many girls on the various campuses engage in lesbianism, Mr. Plakaris made the shocking assertion that the numbers “are alarming, disturbing and growing.” Even more disturbing is the claim made by Mr. Plakaris that there are some adults of this orientation – including some teachers and parents – who “are not inclined” to discourage young girls from engaging in this kind of lifestyle.

Rumours have long been in circulation about lesbianism becoming a growing problem not only in schools in Grand Bahama, but in New Providence as well. Gauging just how pervasive it is in our schools, of course, has always been difficult because gay women do not physically exhibit the characteristics which make it easy to determine that a man is homosexual.

Did someone find my Universal Gay Man DetectorTM in the Bahamas? Damn, now I know who has it — the editor of the Freeport News. I’d go retrieve it, but it sounds like someone might brain me down there.


On the heels of that editorial, it looks like the local version of Daddy Dobson, the Grand Bahama Christian Council President Bishop Ricardo Grant, has called for a probe into the allegations of rampant lesbianism in the schools involving a joint effort between parental groups, the Christian council, education officials and counselors. They have to get to the bottom of this matter tout de suite.

Now that it has come to his attention and he has read the article, Bishop Grant says the Christian Council will definitely launch its own investigation into the allegations.

The deputy director of government school security said the lesbian network in our schools could not be denied as the females are bold, growing in numbers and most disturbing is that they are preying on young girls.

…The problem, Mr. Plakaris adds, stems decades old, as far back as the late 80s, but are now more blatant among teachers and students. The problem is not exclusive to The Bahamas as research shows that there is seemingly also rampant lesbianism in schools in the United States and Canada, Plakaris says.

Mr. Plakaris says once his department receives information on anybody it is passed on to the Department of Social Services. “If criminal charges are necessary then we would recommend as such,” he said.

“But we will not sit back and allow it to continue without letting persons know that we have been watching and we have been documenting — teachers as well as students.”

I’m making light of this bullsh*t, but imagine if you are a gay or lesbian teen living under these conditions.

Hat tip, PageOneQ.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding