And The Winner Is…
The 2005 Golden Crony Award goes to Heckuva Job Brownie…by a landslide. Man, if this is any indication, his consulting business on "how to give yourself an image makeover after you’ve failed at your disaster management job" will be a smashing success.
But there were other contenders. Oh, yeah.
Before her copious application of mascara and eyeliner begins to run from tears, Harriet Miers can take solice that she was the First Runner-Up. And, since she’s still working for Bushco, there’s always next year!) Plus, truly, she does have the Best.Blog.Evah!!!!!
So Harriet didn’t even make it to her Senate Judiciary Committee hearings, and had to be given a remedial opportunity to correct her wrong answers on the committee questionnaire because, as Arlen Specter said, she "needed a crash course in Constitutional Law"…who cares about that now? She is still the chief legal counsel for the President of the United States, rendering opinions and giving legal advice to the leader of the free world. And apparently she’s quite the little organizer and a swell note writer, too. Peachy!
Our Second Runner-Up was…The Media. Now true, I did lump all the media references together into one, big category. (You can thank me later, New York Times.) But, it was a lot of nominations and some pretty persuasive arguments for media cronyism. Nothing like faux even-handed reporting to keep the Administration from looking bad. (Can’t have that, now can we? Karl will be angry. *shudder*) Hmmmmm…guess Bill O’Reilly can now claim to have won another award. Sweet.
There were some other strong contenders — Ahmed Chalabi, Alberto Gonzales (cheer up, Abu, there’s always next year), Tom DeLay.
But Heckuva Job Brownie, former Arabian Horse Association official, purchaser of shirts from Nordstroms, man who doesn’t like being disturbed during supper even if people are dying, dammit…I mean, how could you possibly compete with that?
As cronies go, getting your job because your former college roommate had it before you did is a pretty nice deal. But the icing on the cake — the thing that clinched the win for you, my man — was that the Bush Administration hired you to come back after you were sacked to analyze why they canned you in the first place. That is some serious ass crony mojo.
I mean, people died on your watch, and you were paid taxpayer money to come back for months…because you couldn’t even deliver that report on time, either, on why you couldn’t deliver water or food or medical assistance on time (wait, I sense a trend)…just look at all the evidence of why you sucked at your first job. And yet, George Bush paid you for a second job with our taxpayer dollars. Your crony-osity defies description.
So, Michael Brown, you are our Golden Crony of 2005. Heckuva Job, Brownie.
And for all the other Bush cronies, there’s always 2006. We’ll be keeping an eye on you.
(Graphic via Bartcop.)
UPDATE: Via reader Ralphbon, Kevin Drum put together a series of urban legends of Katrina, including that Brownie and Albaugh were only good buddies and not, apparently, college roommates. Oops.
UPDATE #2: MSNBC is reporting that Abramoff will be entering his plea in a Miami courtroom in about an hour. Just FYI for everyone.