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Mr. Heterosexual Contest coming to a town near you

I thought Jeremy over at Good As You was kidding. Nope.

According to Family News in Focus, Tom Crouse, pastor of Massachusetts’ Holland Congregational Church, is tired of homos “flooding the marketplace with products and opportunities exclusively for gays and lesbians,” so he has decided to create a contest to “name the most heterosexual guy in Massachusetts.” The competition, scheduled for Feb 4, will reportedly feature “such manly events as how many Oprah magazines you can tear at once and a sixty second dissertation on the uses of duct tape.”

Here is what you can find over at Mr. Hetero about the contest:

Mr Heterosexual Contest 2006
A Celebration of God’s Creation

A real competition that will bring fun and laughter as we celebrate
God’s design.  Come be a part of the fun either as a contestant or an
audience member.

Events

Strength – how many oprah magazines can you tear?

Talent – your choice

Intellectual – answering random questions such as your favorite
heterosexual role model

Competition – name that food
………..more events to be announced.

Entry fee for competition 20.00.

Future events Mr Hetero Albany, NY. date coming soon
Mr Hetero Louisville, KY. date coming soon

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding