Giving Iraq the purple finger of virtue

One-Armed Bandit Bill throws his considerable girth behind one of those symbolic gestures (like magnetic “Support Our Troops” ribbons) that Americans are so good at, and which allow us to feel virtuous without any real personal sacrifice:

With our troops, with our allies, and with the brave Iraqis, we look forward to a new birth of freedom in Iraq; and want to do what we can to show our soldiers, our allies, and — most importantly — the Iraqis, that we stand with them as they stand for themselves.

Starting on Monday, December 12th, I — and tens of thousands of others across America — will be marking my right index finger with purple ink to show those in Iraq we support them. Based on suggestions from listeners on my nationally syndicated radio show, I — and we — are asking you (to the degree physically feasible) to make available an ink pad or marker at your check-out counters for your customers, to mark their fingers with ink as they leave your store.

Just as I believe in a politics of liberty, I also believe in an economy based on free market principles. Making an ink pad available for your customers who would like to show their support for those principles in your stores through December 15th is what I am asking, in support of that politics and that economy. You may wish to alert your local media of your doing this, for added publicity of the cause outlined above, and your support of it.

Because, to the battered people of Iraq who have seen their economy destroyed, family members killed, and can only enjoy the sweet sweet promise of electricty and running water for about two hours a day, nothing could possibly fill their hearts with more joy than knowing that Americans are taking a moment to run their fingers across an ink pad… right after buying a five-pound jar of peanut butter and the Friends Season 5 DVD collection at Sam’s Club.

Remember: War is hell, democracy is messy, and ink stains are a bitch to get out.



Yeah. Like I would tell you....