Kern the cookies
Okay. Maybe they were Sunshine Hydrox.
We expect a group calling itself the Swift Boat Cookie Tossers to show up on Fox any minute now and claim that, yes, it did happen, because this guy’s cousin’s best-friend’s sister was there and she lost an eye to cookie shrapnel but had to wait a long time in emergency while they extracted a gerbil out of (choose one) George Clooney’s/ Barbra Streisand’s/ or Michael Moore’s ass.
Where is PajamAmway Media when you need them?