Dammit. My best flagellant shirt is still at the dry cleaners

Apparently there wasn’t enough rending of garments and gnashing of teeth as citizens observed the death of 2000 Americans. Some were even caught on film smiling for the camera and chatting (gasp!).

Afterwards they set cars on fire and danced naked around the pyre in honor of Our Dark Lord Clenis the First before rutting in the streets like the foul godless beasts that they are.

Then they went to Coco’s for pie.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....