CommunityPam's House Blend

Freaks

[UPDATE: a new one came in the mailbag this AM, for your entertainment, and I reposted the infamous “Bevis” email…]

Before I move on to the topic at hand, thank you to Russ for posting some great stuff while I was out of town. He provided most excellent service behind the coffee bar. Did you enjoy his green-tinted biscotti? 😉 Blenders keep the email coming even when I’m away, so I’m just getting through a really full mailbox.

I almost got hung up on the flight delays up in NJ from Wilma remnants, but thankfully our flight was not cancelled.

***

Freak zone…

This letter, from some little redneck named “Samuel” writing from tiny Clyde, NC. He clearly has a sheet in his closet, and is suffering from a lack of self-esteem. It’s about a post from the Blend early in September, Klan protests gathering of Methodists in NC. The Methodists met to discuss whether to include openly gay clergy and the article noted that the Klan only managed to find 20 people to show up in opposition.

I guess that set our little Blender Bigot off, because he’s frothing at the mouth…

Hey Hypocrite, Just thought I would drop you a line and tell you I am from Clyde, NC where the Methodists held their little fag rally and I was there and you didnt even confront the KKK. Your comments on the event is absolutly wrong by saying you faced down the KKK. Wonder how you will face the Lord when He judges you for your sinful life under the disguise of Christianity. Break God’s Law and you will pay.

Nowhere in my post do I say I was there, though perhaps he was using the collective “you” as in “you homos” in his missive. Who knows.

***

This is one that came in this AM (Wed), from “Steve”; I get variations on this theme all the time. My first thought is, why are they even reading my blog? What, pray tell, do they get out of reading it?

What will you do when you meet God to be judged for your sexually perverted lifestyle?

Is your eternal life in heaven worth losing?

If you do not believe in God’s word or God and are left with your own imagination to guide your morality, do you ever think that you may be wrong?

Are you prepared for the eternal consequence?

Steve

***

And for newer readers, this is the classic “fan” email that regular Blenders know and love. It was sent to me and Shakespeare’s Sister as we co-moderate Big Brass Blog. When this missive hit our inboxes, we knew that we had to share.

Subject: In you’r World
From: “joe”
Date: Tue, July 26, 2005 3:36 pm
To: mail at bigbrassblog
It sure seems to me You’re World has to much Prozac,Pot ,and Crack.I my self cannot understand how anyone with a half of a brain,could believe some shmuck,who just sits reed’s and regurgitates,what he read,after milling it around in a drug,clouded half of a mind,why do you think an anyone would believe you. At least the News Media has a structure,they do not print obvious lies,think it’s called integrity??.They have others who monitor their news,for truth,and will call them on it,like Dan Rather,who monitors yours Bevis ?? Just thought I would drop you a line,so the rest of your life is not wasted

***

Al Franken was on David Letterman talking about politics (Al’s new book is out, The Truth (with jokes), which is on my wish list), and there was a discussion about it on the right-wing site Newsbusters (allegedly “Exposing and Combating Liberal Media Bias”).

Get a load of this comment by someone named “Keith,” whose profile says he is “an American of African descent. I live and work under a stage name in Hollywood where I am a mildly successful character actor.” It is beyond the pale. It is another sorry case of unhinged wingnut Kool-Aid drinking (thanks for the pointer, Fritz). Try not to laugh…

The thinkers? There are no liberal thinkers. You people are idiots deceived by Satan. Notice how you love Halloween? That’s your condemned nature rising up. Let’s see, the “academics” and “media” intellects you site believe in Baby Killing and Sodomy, yet they are “enlightened”.

Instead of ridiculing conservatives, you should be realizing that your entire liberal philosophy is bullshit based on lies. Here are some of the things that your academics and media elites believe, showing how truly stupid you people are in the face of my genius. My I.Q. is 187 one of the highest ever recorded. I don’t put much stock in it since as a child I posited the theory, since proven, that the IQ test simply measured aptitude. However, whether you like the numbers or not, I’m certainly smarter than any liberal. The proof of that is in the list below. Look at the things you stupid liberals believe, when you awaken before the judgement seat of Christ, don’t act like you weren’t told how wrong you are!

TO BE A DUMB ASSED LIBERAL YOU MUST FIRST BELIEVE………

1. A BABY IS NOT A HUMAN BEING, (this of course overlooks the fact that it has it’s own DNA sequence separate from that of the mother and has a heart, lungs, fingers and toes at four weeks old and if it isn’t human what is it, a camel?). You actually believe this because liberals are too stupid to understand that the word “fetus” is an artificial designation. You don’t even get that do you? God didn’t divide the stages of human developement into sections, humans did. That thing you’re sitting on isn ‘t really a chair, idiot, we just call it that, other languages use different words to describe the same thing. The artificial designation, “chair” is okay as long as you don’t prescribe an artificial value to it. If you call what exists in a womans womb a “fetus” for the purposes of common identification, that’s fine, but if you assign a value, an assessment of the “worth” of the fetus, based on an artificial designation, you are a fool. A “fetus” is simply the earliest form of human developement, only a child of satan like yourself would value that as “less than”.

2. PEOPLE ARE BORN GAY, (but curiously their heterosexual bodies are capable of reproduction, which doesn’t cause any of you stupid liberals to say ” Hey, wait a sec! If someone is “born gay” why is their FUCKING BODY, clearly born HETEROSEXUAL? That’s because you’re a dumb liberal, then there’s the curious pride homosexuals take in “turning someone out”, which means making someone who is NOT gay, like homosexual sex, kinda contrary to the whole “born gay” thing but hey, facts to a liberal are like crosses to a …uh liberal! Well, vampires too!)…

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