Grand Jury Barbecue Time
Life began early for young Turd Blossom today. He awoke promptly at seven, chose a somber yet earnest black for his fourth appearance before Patrick Fitzgerald’s grand jury, then hopped in his sexy, rich-boy gun metal gray Jaguar S-Type and drove off….
No, no, Karl! Bad idea! This’ll never work. Think of the cameras…they’ll all pounce on you for being a rich asshole…it’ll be just like those photos on Air Force One…can’t pass yourself off as a poor simpleton hounded by an overzealous prosecutor if you show up in an $80,000 ride with skidmarks on the tires from running over the homeless…you’re smarter than that…think, Karl, think…
Humble public servant Karl Rove arrived today at the courthouse in a beige Toyota Camry.
…at which point Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald skewered his nuts and roasted them over a slow fire for four and a half hours.
Adam Entous, Reuters:
Friday’s testimony appeared to be Rove’s last opportunity to convince grand jurors that he did nothing illegal following the disclosure that he had spoken to two reporters about CIA operative Valerie Plame and her husband, despite earlier White House denials.
Do you suppose he was off the Manuel from Faulty Towers bit? Four and a half hours is an awfully long time to endlessly repeat, “I know nothing.”
People close to the case said Rove’s unusually lengthy grand jury appearance on Friday suggested prosecutors closely scrutinized his earlier testimony, asked him to explain any inconsistencies and may have confronted him with additional information.
“Being in there that long after testifying three times before can’t be viewed as a particularly positive sign,” said a legal source in the case.
“Inconsistencies.” That’s an SAT word that means “lies.”
Fitzgerald could send out letters to senior administration officials advising them they are targets of his probe, and bring indictments as early as next week, the lawyers said.
Fitzgerald also might decide that no crime was committed and issue a report of his findings.
Yeah and I could sprout wings and fly to Cancun for the winter, but not bloody likely.
Pete Yost, AP:
For the White House in 2004, the good news about Fitzgerald’s probe was that it didn’t become an issue during the presidential election year.
Thank you, Time Magazine.
The power to create even more trouble for the administration or wrap up the investigation and return to Chicago, where he is U.S. attorney, lies with Fitzgerald. An experienced prosecutor with a Republican pedigree…
Fitzgerald’s a nothing. He was registered as an “independent” before they started sending him shit and he realized it was a party, so he re-registered with no party affiliation. I just got off the phone with Mary Jo White, who used to be his boss at the US Attorney’s office in New York, who says that “he is apolitical, and clearly he would judge things objectively, without any consideration of politics.”
(He’s probably referring to the feeble GOP attempt to draft Fitzgerald for a suicide run against Obama in 2004 — but mostly just to get him off everyone’s fucking back, IMHO. They would’ve given that nod to anyone, as they proved when they tapped Alan Keyes. Fitzgerald was disinterested.)
Press secretary Scott McClellan on Friday rejected suggestions that the investigation of two key players was distracting the White House.
“We’re aware of all those things,” he said. “But we’ve got a lot of work to do and that’s where we’re focused.”
Tell me about it. Rehearsals are a bitch.
(Best line of the day, from The General: “Allison Barber made a bunch of soldiers rehearse lines for a televised conversation with Our Leader. There’s nothing wrong with that. She’s prepped God for the President’s prayers since 2003, and He’s never complained.”)
Rove’s defense team asserts that President Bush’s deputy chief of staff has not committed a crime but nevertheless anticipates that special prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald could find a way to bring charges in the next two weeks, the source said.
When your own defense team is preparing the media for the worst, man you are fucked.