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Breaking…


AFA leader’s head explodes as shoppers seek ‘falling prices’ on lube

No actual reports on the cranium detonations yet, but it can’t be long…

Queen Drudge reports that sales of KY Warming Liquid are heating up as Middle America sweeps the lube off of the shelves at Wal-Mart, filling Johnson & Johnson’s coffers.

Suddenly at the forefront of taking sex aids mainstream, conservative marketer Johnson & Johnson almost overnight has doubled sales of its once-sleepy K-Y brand for the second time in four years thanks to the blockbuster summer rollout of a new line of massage oils. And nowhere has that success been greater than at Wal-Mart, where K-Y Touch Massage oils have hit the list of top 10 new health and beauty products of 2005, according to J&J; VP-Personal Care Marketing Jim Peterson.

J&J; has found warming lubricants sell well not only for Valentine’s Day but also around Memorial Day and Fourth of July. “We dubbed these sex holidays,” Mr. Peterson said. “And we try to line up all our promotional efforts around them.”

This newsflash should send the American Family Association’s Don and Tim Wildmon over the edge, as Wal-Mart is always held up as the “family values” counterpart to evil, homo-loving Target by the Right. The retailer with the red bulls-eye logo was just chastised for selling specialty condoms and lubricant — or as they called them, “sex-toy-related products.”


How long will we have to wait for a press release from Rev. Don’s AFA or AgapePress?

J&J; is already on the Right’s hit list, by the way, for advertising in The Advocate.

It seems to me, however, that the AmTaliban shouldn’t blame the retailers carrying these products, it all falls squarely on the shoulders of all these deviant Red-state, all-American, church-going consumers buying them up and getting busy with them, right? It’s just too much for their pious, brow-beating organizations to handle.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding