CommunityPam's House Blend

AngryBlackBitch on abstinence-only sex-ed

One of my favorite reads in the blogosphere is AngryBlackBitch, written by an activist black woman in St. Louis. She does lots of volunteer work with the poor and homeless, runs the Church of Enlightened Bitchitude & Latter-Day Drunks (I think that’s the name), and writes a pretty funny and very observant blog. She also helps me keep up with her obsessive observation of The Today Show and other morning shows I can’t watch due to my work schedule.

Anyway, she had this piece up about “abstinence-only” sex education that required a Radical Retort (*’s added for The Blend so your Pr0n filters don’t block it):

To screw or not to screw…

Americans are in a culture war over sex… who, what, when and where. This bitch has been more than a little annoyed. When my ass read this article about a new chastity group that was formed by Princeton University students… well… a bitch just wanted to scream!

A bitch understands that there are some people and groups that advocate abstinence until marriage. What my ass doesn’t understand is why abstinence groups feel that other groups shouldn’t discuss the alternative to abstinence…otherwise known as sex.

Let’s be honest… there isn’t a whole lot to discuss about abstinence other than the benefits of not getting pregnant or exposed to disease. A bitch can just imagine the meetings…

“Hello everyone! Well, no sex happening here. How about you? Still not f*cking? Great!”

Or maybe these abstinence group meetings are actually discussing the challenges of not having sex…

“Oh my Gawd… I so wanted to get laid yesterday. Sex was all I could think about. Thank Gawd I have this group to fall back on and discuss not having sex!”

Better yet, maybe they just sit around and get nasty…

“I had a dream last night where I was… well… I was horny! Yeah! And I just kept being horny!”

… nasty talk isn’t all that kinky when you don’t know what the f*ck you are talking about. sh*t, those fantasies have got to be boring as a motherf*cker!

Anyhoo, this bitch believes that abstinence should be a component of any sex ed. curriculum. However, sex ed. requires a discussion of sex too and my ass is f*cking tired of people acting like discussing sex makes people more likely to have sex.

This bitch was blessed to have participated in a comprehensive sex ed. class in school. Added to that was a healthy dose of my crazy assed mother threatening to kill me if I “came up pregnant” in her house. This bitch was scared off sex by the facts for years… .YEARS!

And when my ass decided to get it on this bitch was equipped with some knowledge and a realistic understanding of the consequences.

Yeah, this bitch supports abstinence… my ass wishes motherf*ckers would abstain from promoting abstinence only education.

My angry sistah, you’ve got it all wrong when it comes to “abstinence-only” sex education. For if we teach the kids about sex, that will only make them want to do it, and then they’ll get the gono-ca-ca-caccus (Frank Zappa RIP) and die. Kids need to learn that the only safe sex is the sex you do not have, and that sex should be saved until marriage.

Kids are catching deadly STD’s and getting pregnant in school every year. When we teach them effective dating techniques, encourage them to look out for their own sexual health, and outfit them with condoms and spermicides, we’re only giving them a false sense of security and encouraging them to take risks in the dating world that could get them killed. After all, no condom or spermicide is 100% effective against disease or pregnancy.

We’re expanding this logic to other school topics. We are about to start “walking-only” drivers education. For if we teach the kids about driving cars, that will only make them want to do it, and then they’ll go speeding down the freeway, wreck their cars, and die. Kids need to learn that the only safe driving is the driving they do not do, and that driving should be saved until adulthood.

There are so many other activities kids engage in that need this sort of logic. Kids are seriously injured or killed playing high school football every year. When we teach them proper tackling techniques, encourage them to get in prime physical shape, and outfit them in body armor and helmets, we’re only giving them a false sense of security and encouraging them to take risks on the football field that could get them killed. After all, no set of helmet and football pads are 100% effective against injury or death.

Therefore, we need to institute “no-contact” football education for our high school athletes. Kids need to learn that the only safe football is the football with no contact, and that tackle football should be saved until college.

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