Flesh for fantasy
Vcitor Davis Nostradamus Hanson, the bard of Fresno, constructs an entire cornfield of strawmen who dance to his tune, by writing an alternative history of what would have happenedif we hadn’t been hairy-chested enough to invade Iraq:
In a much publicized second interview with CBSâ€™s Dan Rather, Iraqiâ€™s President Saddam Hussein insisted that continual American pressure had little effect. â€œLook at Afghanistan. Here it is almost October 2005, and America is still fighting the Taliban, so I donâ€™t think they will dare come to our Iraq. But we are ready to be martyred nonetheless.â€
The Iraqi president who was hosting Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas also denied rumors that Iraqi agents had attempted to assassinate former President Bill Clinton. On recent disclosures of a plot against him, President Clinton left nearby Kuwait, where he had lectured his hosts on the dangers of WMD proliferation in Iraq.
Among the more tense moments of the Rather interview was Saddamâ€™s insistence that Iranâ€™s nuclear program demanded an â€œArab response.â€ The Iraqi leader also promised to increase his bounties to suicide bombers on the West Bank to $40,000 per family, and planned to expand the program to include martyrs who joined the Taliban resistance. CBSâ€™s Rather grimaced, â€œI guess that $70-a-barrel oil give you a pretty wide berth, Mr. President.â€
Then Bill Clinton commits suicide over his despair in not having done enough to kill Osama bin Laden, Dan Rather admits to being the lovechild of Alger Hiss and Ethel Rosenberg and begins to sign off each night by saying “Peace, komrades”, and Hanson converts over thirty lesbians by introducing them to the VDH Thermopylae of Love, if you know what I mean.
That would be thirty lipstick lesbians.
Totally hot ones.
But Bush still doesn’t catch bin Laden proving that some things are beyond being imagined…