CommunityPam's House Blend

The rantings of a Freeper mind

As you regulars know, I surf by the swampy, fetid dwellings of Freeperland from time to time, to let you know what the fringe element is thinking. They usually only manage to post feeble, barely readable sentences when they opine. Every so often there are vanity posts, when a Freeper manages to put together a few paragraphs of entertaining drivel.

I had to share this one with you. Actually, it’s only a snippet, because this is a full blown ego rant that is just plain hysterical. Almost equally amusing are all the “high fives” the fellow Freepers give this idiot. I’m not posting them here. They are just too vapid.

It’s an open letter to Liberals. Big thoughts, not-so-big words. But hey, they have to work so hard.

This is just amazing. He could be the next Sean Hannity, though I think he should find a better handle than Pukin Dog (though it fits this delusional dumb*ss quite well). How many brewskies did it take to type this one out?


Actual Freeper “Essay”™

Open letter to Liberals: Bring it on, you bastards; we are going to beat you anyway.

Posted on 09/06/2005 11:09:34 AM PDT by Pukin Dog

Oh yeah, baby.

You’ve got us now, don’t you?

You’ve got our President by the short hairs, and you are mad as hell, not gonna take it anymore and all that crap, right? I mean, its open season on us, and you are going to make us pay. Finally, all your efforts to bring down this president are about to bear fruit, and you can just taste it. Oh, you are so close, so close to realizing what you have been dreaming about since November 2000.

Can you feel me quivering?

Read this carefully, my Liberal friends. If you have to, put down the pipes so you can get closer to the screen, let the smoke clear for a moment and then read up. I want you to remember this, while you are out there protesting, organizing, and raising money, slinging invectives and all the other stuff you do so well. I want this on your mind, as you march through the streets, or on buses filled with your kind headed for Washington D.C. I want to make sure that as you do what you do, that you don’t forget what I am about to tell you.

Are you ready? Here it comes:

YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE.

Come the elections in 2006 and 2008, we are going to beat you like you stole- oops, I mean, looted something. We are going to hand you your asses in a bucket. The quiet masses of free-thinking, church-going, masses are going to send you back to your Liberal enclaves to cry in your soy-milk over more and more defeats. Your agenda is going to be defeated, your anger is going to go unheard, and your actions are going to be noted, cataloged and used against you to insure that you rat-bastards never get back into power.

The simple truth is that America will never again let the whiners, losers, beggars and thieves control the direction the country. The Internet has given Americans long memories. We can look up what you did when you were in charge, we can watch you 24/7 as you work to bring down the greatest nation in the history of the world. We know where you are, who you are, what you do, and what you say in your non-stop America-bashing ways. You are not going to win anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it.

The sniveling goes on for a while…and then I hit this hilarious passage:

Americans don’t picture a Michael Kinsley or Paul Krugman yanking 9Gs in an F-16 to line up a snapshot on an Iraqi Mig-29, but they have no problem picturing that in some young, brave America-loving CONSERVATIVE man. I mean, feel my pain if you want to, but that aint gonna create 4.9% unemployment as far as I’m concerned. You get me?

…Keep on slandering our President. Keep on slandering your country. Keep on believing that you need to take more from us, to take care of those whom you refuse to ask anything of. You could ask them not to steal, not to loot. You could ask them to work hard, love their children enough to say no to them, and to make sure that they make education a priority in their homes. But you wont, we know that. We know that you will continue to tell them that their problems are the result of our greed and lust for power.

One thing we know is that when we pray to God to protect us from our enemies, that he hears us. What you may not know, is that more and more often, when we are saying those prayers, we are talking about you.

God has never failed America, and that is why, despite your best efforts, you will lose.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding