Hey, a Guy’s Gotta Make a Living
This is rich. From Sydney Schanberg:
Robert Novak, whose “confidential” sources helped him light the match that set off the Plamegate wildfire, is now on the Internet blithely hawking “confidential” sessions with Washington’s power elite. He’s only asking $595 a person. The invitation says: “This meeting is 100% off the record.” The e-mail letter goes on to explain that the secrecy is necessary so that the speakers can speak candidly and tell the truth. The truth, in the nation’s capitalâ€”that’s certainly worth $595.
Five hundred ninety-five dollars to hear Robert Novak tell the truth? Ho, sign me the fuck up!
The request for my presence was very tempting. The letter from Winter began: “Dear friend, When was the last time you sat in a room just a few feet from the likes of Vice President Cheney or Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, asked a question and got a straightforward answer?” A straightforward answer. Just the thought of witnessing one in Washington sends a tingle up the spine.
Of course, that presumes that Novakula actually knows how to give a straight answer. And I suspect there is a better chance he and his fugitive hip will join the Flying Wallendas for a spontaneous high-wire trapeze act.
The four-page invite came from Tom Winter, president and editor in chief of Human Events. He referred to Novak as “my friend.” Winter wrote: “Given the limited number of attendees, the stature of the speakers, and the confidential nature of the meeting, this Forum is rarely publicized. In fact, in its 30-year history, the Forum has always been and will continue to be one of Washington’s best kept secrets.”
As I was reading over the invitation again, I got a joltâ€”a couple of lines I’d missed on the first go-around: “Each speaker speaks briefly about the issues of the day, then opens the floor to questionsâ€”any questions. The answers are frank and open, because there are no reporters.”
I know the Justice Department can be tricky about expenses, so I hereby pledge the $595 it would take to send Patrick Fitzgerald to the Novak soiree. Not that I think Novak has any actual plans to be honest. I just really like the idea of him sitting up there and looking out over the crowd of fellow kleptocrats to see Fitzgerald’s face like some Telltale Heart.
Of course, there are dangers involved. I always worry that events like this are going to be the place an angry deity would choose to begin the Apoloclypse.
Update: Okay, several commeners have made note of the fact that sending Patrick Fitzgerald would probably break laws I haven’t even heard of, and rightly suggest that Joe Wilson would be a much better choice. I have emailed Ambassador Wilson and let him know we are willing to help.