Interesting, completely useless questions…
These were up on Huffington Post by blogger Russell Shaw. I think that most of us have thought about these, though I’ll put in my two cents below. Will be fun to see your comments.
* Was The Al-Tipper Gore “Kiss” Planned By Consultants?– You likely remember the big,wet, enveloping kiss Al planted on Tipper during the 2000 Democratic National Convention. I remember two things at the time: 1- Al was trailing Bush in the polls among white males; and 2- he was already acting like a focus-group tested, consultant-driven robot. Al has always denied the kiss was planned, but I remain unconvinced that it wasn’t.
[Al’s a nice guy and you can tell he loves Tipper, but I agree with Shaw – Gore was a over-consulted robot during that campaign (the debates, oh god), and it wouldn’t surprise me if the smooch were planned at all.]
* Do We Know Where Osama Is, But Have Him Contained?-Let’s say we have Osama’s current location specifically triangulated. If indeed we do,there might be a defensive calculus that he is less harmful in hiding than he would be as a slain martyr, or a martyr on trial.
[Who the hell knows at this point. Musharraf could have him corraled in Pakistan.]
* Do We Actually Have Osama?– This one is way out, so way out that I doubt it. But we keep on hearing about secret CIA prisons. The only time Osama has come out with a fresh video in the last three years was the weekend before the last Presidential election. An Osama-in-captivity could have been made available for such a video by selling him a bill of goods that this would help the re-election of a President reviled in much of the Muslim world.
[This is entirely possible, but sh*t, with Chimpy’s numbers in the toilet and with that last election so close, he would have pulled this rabbit out of the hat long ago.]
* Were the 2001 anthrax attacks a horribly botched exercise? In those terrible weeks after 9/11, much was said about our inefficient infrastructure to respond to a biological terrorist attack. I can’t totally dismiss that the anthrax mailings were a twisted exercise by some agency,or even a rogue agent, designed to test the response of our infrastructure. Keep in mind that various military authorities perform war games and exercises all the time. Could this have been a case of one gone horribly wrong?
[This story completely dropped off of the radar. How come, considering it was likely an act of “domestic terrorism”? I really didn’t think it was an experiment gone wrong though; after all, what would be the point of sending actual anthrax into the population to prove our emergency infrastructure sucks *ss? We know that already. ]
* Have Hillary and Bill always had an arrangement? – I would support Hillary for President in a heartbeat. I also know about the power of denial. But I have trouble believing she didn’t know about Bill’s infidelities. More likely, she always has known but put up with it because she’s always recognized his brilliance, and that a Bill and Hillary team had benefits for both partners.
[Bleh. Who knows what goes on in a marriage, but she knew. Come on; for the number of rumors of boinking around that we are aware of, consider there were probably dozens more we didn’t hear of. He wasn’t particularly discreet about where and with whom he porked around. If Hil didn’t know, then she’s too dumb to be elected to anything.]
* How were Michael Jackson’s children conceived? Some wags use the term “artificial insemination.” Frankly, it isn’t anyone’s business, but I can’t totally dismiss the possibility of a deep non-disclosure agreement signed by fertility clinic workers and sitting in a bank vault somewhere.
[Come on, that sicko hasn’t had sex with a woman. He doesn’t even let little girls sleep in his bed. (What was Lisa Marie thinking?). That baby-making was strictly a medical and legal “transaction.” ]
* Why did Michael Jordan suddently quit the NBA to go into minor league baseball? – The official reason given for this early 1990s move was that he was burned out on basketball, loved baseball and wanted to see how well he could do. That’s plausible, even probable. But if you remember the circumstances back then,there was lots of talk about Jordan and high-stakes card games. I hope the real story was not that the NBA had some additional information on his gambling activities – but given Jordan’s iconic status as a marketing machine, brokered the sabbatical in exchange for expunging his record and a perpetual vow of silence.
[I have to say that I didn’t give this one any thought at all. I just thought it was about retiring from the game over his father’s murder here in NC in 1993. ]
* Did Ben Affleck and Matt Damon really write all of “Goodwill Hunting?”– They won an Academy Award for writing this great flick. I thought and still think they were and are perfectly capable of writing a thorough treatment. But having been around writing and the entertainment industry for awhile,I know that it takes months of solitude to hammer out a script, and that ghostwriters are often used. If it ever came out that Ben and Matt wrote a lengthy treatment but a ghostwriter was used to fill out the script, I wouldn’t be shocked.
[This question is about Ben Affleck. I don’t flipping care.]
* How did NBA superstar Magic Johnson and the late Nascar race car driver Tim Richmond contract the AIDS virus? In both cases, the story given was too many tight associations with loose women. I can buy that, but hundreds if not thousands of athletes have run with these loose women. I am entitled to believe Magic, but you have to realize that Nascar has always cultivated a strong, macho image. If anything ever came out that contravened that image,what would be the fallout?
[I didn’t recall the Tim Richmond death, but Googling around, it’s entirely possible he was gay and on the DL. In Magic’s case, there was clearly open talk that he was gay at the time of his announcement that he was HIV+, but that was mostly spurred on by the incredible homophobia surrounding AIDS and HIV. Now, the rumors are mostly framed around Magic being on the DL, and of course he would never disclose same-sex relations if he did participate in it. Folks were talking about it then, and now. Check out this Wikipedia entry. If he did contract it on the DL, we’re never going to hear about it.]