The All-nighter

No matter how many pots of coffee they drank and how many cigarettes they smoked, the country of Iraq failed to turn in their constitution on time even though they have known for weeks that is was due:

Iraqi factional leaders failed to meet Monday’s deadline for drafting a constitution in an often-rancorous debate that appeared to have widened rifts among Shiite, Sunni, Kurdish and secular groups.

Unable to resolve differences on such major issues as the role of religion by the midnight deadline, political leaders turned to Iraq’s transitional parliament for a one-week extension, winning unanimous agreement with just 23 minutes to spare. The United States had pushed the deadline hard as it eyed troop withdrawals.

This is what happens countries spend all summer going to the mall and laying on the couch watching Extreme Country Makeover and That’s So Raven reruns instead of getting their work done. As it was, President George Bush had to send Condolezza Rice up to Iraq’s room at least a half a dozen times telling them that the dealine was coming up and the Iraqis just rolled their eyes and said, “Okay. I’ll get it done! Just leave me alone, okay! Gawd!” and then slammed the door and went back to IMing Iran and downloading Fall Out Boy mp3s. Later Bush yelled up the stairs, “Don’t make me send John Bolton up there.” and he heard something that sounded like a muffled “Bite me” through the door.

Although they can pick up some extra credit by coming up with a national anthem before the Labor Day recess, this will still go on their permanent record and will keep them out some the better international organizations.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....