…and for his honeymoon he’s going to Iraq. No, I’m just kidding. He’s a Republican.

Myrna Blyth obstensibly uses her column this week to talk about the movie “Wedding Crashers” (Go for the comedy…stay for the boobs and John McCain!), and how all movies these days are snoozers which is why Hollywood is floundering and she can’t seem to stay awake after her sixth martini. But what she really wants to talk about is how her son, her precious little boy, finally tied the knot at 38, and so you can just stop with all those snotty Ken Mehlman comments, okay!

At the wedding, my son told his guy friends that they had not been invited to a wild and crazy bachelor party because there had not been one. Jonathan explained that his brother, the best man, had come up with lots of suggestions for ending his bachelorhood in amusing, even spectacular, ways. He had suggested, for example, that they go skydiving together. Jonathan reported, “I said to him, ‘You must be kidding. I don’t want to go skydiving.’ And then I realized my brother has been married four years and has a baby. Does he know something I don’t know?”

Hmmmm. We now turn to the Book of Dobson:

1. A strong feeling that they are “different” from other boys.

2. A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.

No bachelor party…no skydiving… just a few guys sitting around, drinking Manhattans, and watching Top Gun, while Jonathan Blyth regales them with stories about what he did in the War on Terror:

The bridegroom, 38, manages the legislative agenda of the Bush administration in the House of Representatives for the Office of Personnel Management. He is also a lieutenant in the Naval Reserve and a public affairs officer in the Navy Office of Information in New York.

War is heck. Weddings are hell.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....