Schools out for summer

Today’s (8/3) Presidential Schedule:

6AM – Breakfast (Chocolate Chip Eggos, Sunny Delight).

6:15AM – Read Daily Presidential Briefing

6:17AM – Read Sporting News, USA Today, Washington Times, and Highlights.

7:15AM – Cut brush

9:30AM – Go on bike ride.

9:37AM – See White House physician for cuts and bruises

10:15AM – Cut brush

11:58 AM – Express sorrow over deaths of 14 Marines in Iraq

Noon: Lunch (Hamburgers, corn on the cob, juice box)

12:30PM – Cut brush

2:30PM – Go for run in god-forsaken heat

3:00PM – Shower. Nap

4:30PM – Watch Oprah

5:30PM – Cut brush

7:00PM – Shower. Dinner (Chicken McNuggets, corn, salad w/ranch dressing, pudding, non-alcoholic Zima)

8:00 – Sports Center

9:00 – Sex with Condi Laura

9:02 – Sleep

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....