I love it – The Avenging Angel
The Avenging Angel metes out punishment to the worst perpetrators of the vast conservative assault on the United States. Through public exposure of their hypocrisy, sexual perversities, marital failings, political skullduggery, influence peddling, corporate crime and other common peccadilloes of the right, the Avenging Angel delivers retribution to the incredibly guilty in the form of bad press, broad ridicule, and ideally, incarceration. Regardless, for all of those on the lists below, a particularly warm seat has no doubt been reserved in Dante’s inner circle.
Here are just a few sorry souls that the Angel has visited upon to mete out punishment. These had me laughing out loud. So deserving.
(Two sets of wings) Scott McClellan (July 2005)
McClellan, the idiot non-savant in the White House press office, suffered a severe smiting this week for his lies in Karl Rove’s outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. For two days, the usually docile press corps beat Scott like a rented mule over his bogus 2003 claims that the allegations against Rove were “ridiculous” and that the President “knows” Rove was not involved. Mercifully for McClellan, his problems can only get worse if rumors of a bizarre love triangle with Rove and Jeff Gannon turn out to be true.
(Two sets of wings) Senator Bill Frist (June 2005)
Doctor Frist got his comeuppance this week for his witness malpractice in the Schiavo tragedy. Mr. Tort Reform himself had proclaimed on the floor of the Senate that based on video footage, Schiavo was not in a persistent vegetative state and that “she certainly seems to respond to visual stimuli.” The autopsy showed otherwise, as Schiavo suffered massive brain damage and total blindness. Perhaps it’s time, the Angry One scoffs, for Dr. Frist to his previous practice of dissecting cats for fun and frolic.
(Five sets of wings) Jeff Gannon/J.D. Guckert (February 2005)
The Avenging Angel celebrated his first 5-star smiting with the exposure of Talon News Service and its “reporter” Jeff Gannon (nee J.D. Guckert) as a conservative front. Thanks to the work of AmericaBlog, DailyKos, Atrios, Media Matters and many more, White House press secretary Scott McClellan’s pet reporter and Bush softball-thrower Jeff Gannon was exposed as a fraud doing the dirty work for GOPUSA. The Angel notes with satisfaction that future presidential historians will remember Gannon as “Bush’s Man Date.”
(Four sets of wings) Bernard Kerik (December 2004)
The former New York police commissioner and Bush Homeland Security nominee saw his 15 minutes of fame come to a screeching halt this week. From nanny problems, affairs and Korean bastard love children to questionable stock deals, conflicts of interest, and possible mob ties, the ethically-challenged Kerik makes Tom Delay look like Mother Theresa. The man who was W’s attack dog and Rudy’s bitch will now hopefully disappear from sight. A pleased Avenging Angel recommends a cave in Waziristan.