It’s sorta like Red Dawn meets Grumpy Old Men. You know…old guys fighting Islamofacists and then going to Coco’s before they turn the steam tables off.
Personally I have been up late at night wondering (pondering, wrestling with) why Hollywood is in the doldrums this summer. I mean John Podheretz his own bad self said that Cinderella Man had given him his first erection since the impeachment hearings. But pfffttt, Cinderella Man is dropping out of sight faster than Bo Bice.
But if Hollywood wants to know what it’s doing wrong, well, intrepid blogger and out-to-pasture screenwriter Roger Simon knows what ails ya:
Hollywood box office is off this year by a fairly disastrous nine percent (accounting for ticket price inflation). Marketing people will give dozens of explanations but the reason couldn’t be more obvious: The movies – with a few exceptions – are hugely predictable and unimaginative. In other words, who would want to go?
A secondary explanation is that the coveted 17-year old boy audience is staying home to play computer games. Why wouldn’t they? I don’t play them myself but from what I understand many are far more original than Hollywood pabulum – and they are interactive.
Of course, the other elephant in the room is Hollywood’s lack of response to the world conflagration all around us, especially from a direction that would even hint the US was on the right side (other than Team America from the far-hipper-than-the-boomers South Park crew). This is a far cry from WWII when films from Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo to the bizarrely pro-Stalin Mission to Moscow abounded.
Yup. If only we had more rah-rah shoot’em-ups with square-jawed American soldiers fighting the good fight for the love of that plucky gal back home then that desirable 17-24 year-old male demographic might race down the the local Megacinemapaloozaplex and plop down ten dollars to get a vicarious jolt of pure Americanized Righteousness which beats the hell out of actually enlisting because, as Roger might put it, “In other words, who would want to go?”. After all, these are numbers that even Paul Dergarabedian couldn’t put a positive spin on.
It’s not for nothing that they call Hollywood: The Dream Factory.