Slowly they slipped the meat between the warm inviting buns

Profligate with her favors

Quick! (No! Quicker!) Name one twenty year-old American who would describe a woman using that expression. If you guessed The Virgin Ben, you win! Well, you don’t really win anything tangible but you’ve still got your freedom and democracy and stuff so you’re a winner everyday…or so they tell us.

Anyway, World O’Crap has the latest from Ben (or as we call him V-Ben or maybe Benny-No-Peepee-Touch) who is all over Paris Hilton (figuratively) while flogging his upcoming porn expose: Caught With My Pants Down or Why I Had To Write This Stupid Book. It seems that Ben is worried that the Hilton/Carl’s Jr. $6 burger commercial is provoking youngsters (like Ben) to spontaneously masturbate as opposed to the old $6 burger commercials that only made Jonah Goldberg masturbate.

V-Ben sez:

…the plain truth of the situation is that Paris Hilton would be a relative nobody today were she not incredibly rich and profligate with her favors.


He’s still a virgin.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....