Unctuous twit meeets no-talent hack

May Sweeps get off to bang if by bang you mean a meeting between two sub-minor cultural footnotes in prime time.

On Wednesday night, CBS will broadcast an hour-long special, “Behind the Headlines,” in which Dr. Phil McGraw, the combative host of “The Dr. Phil Show,” will conduct the first interview with Mr. O’Brien since his discharge last week from the rehabilitation clinic. Both “The Dr. Phil Show” and “The Insider” are properties of Paramount Television, a subsidiary of Viacom, which also owns CBS Television. The special will replace the Wednesday edition of “60 Minutes” during this sweeps period, which helps determine advertising rates for the network for the rest of the year.

I’m sorry. I just don’t get Dr. Phil. What little I have seen of him makes me think of the kind of person that would cause you to take extraordinary measures to avoid talking to him at a party even if you had to duck into a closet or jump out of a window…on the second floor.

As for Pat O’Brien, he may be the single largest reason I quit watching the Olympics. The only thing he has ever been good for is blog-fodder.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....