If there is a God (and I’m not betting the pink slip) let us hope that he won’t

Love is likely to thank for Paris’ newly angelic demeanor. She was joined at the W Hotel after-party by her new beau, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis.

“He’s definitely the one,” she said, explaining that Paris Un et Paris Deux met way back in 1997 in a Hilton-owned Monaco club called Jimmy’s.

“Paris and I met when he was 14 and I was 16,” she said. “I had this fake tattoo on my back, and he came up and was like, ‘Is that real?’ and I totally lied and said, ‘Yeah.’ He’s like, ‘That’s hot,’ and I’m like, ‘I know.’ Then he said, ‘My name’s Paris,’ and I said, ‘My name’s Paris.’ Then we danced all night.”

If ever there was a case for the inheritance tax….

And, speaking of retrograde lumpen-spawn, I promise new Jonah fiction by Sunday night. And you can take that to the bank. Why you would do that, I don’t know….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....