If the conclave still had the bathing-suit competition that guy from Brazil would have won

Let’s face it, in a world of instantaneous images, shouldn’t the new Pope have a face that doesn’t scare babies…or me?

Here’s the old Pope. He looks like a nice guy. Warm, caring, open, benevolent. The kind of guy that you would meet in a bar and strike up a conversation about sports or politics or what you’d like to do to that waitress over there, you know, the one with the legs. Okay. He wouldn’t have much to add to that last topic, but you get the idea.

Here’s the new Pope (compliments of Norbizness). Here he is again. Then there is this one (my compliments to Minolta for the brilliant product placement). Here he is showing off his World Series ring that he received playing for the Florida Marlins in 1997 (7I.P 8H 1R 1ER 5S.O. 1.39 ERA). Here he is rubbing it in the face of his brother (“Nyah. Nyah. The Virgin Mary always liked me best”) And here he is making a deal with Satan’s older brother.

Smart move by Jeb! Bush. He locks up the Pope-vote while Bill Frist does the Truman Show for the Crackers of Faith.

Meanwhile Skippy sees the Pope a whole different way.

Pope Fester the Second. That’s got a nice ring to it…

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Perhaps someone needs to check the White House books for $1200 expense reports



Yeah. Like I would tell you....