Pope Tracy Flick the First

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised but I never really thought that some of the Cardinals would actually campaign to be Pope, them being humble servants and all:

Although the cardinals swore an oath of perpetual secrecy about what occurred in the conclave, many began to talk about it on Wednesday. Some said they had long been convinced that Ratzinger was the right man. Others said his performance at John Paul’s funeral and other rituals in recent days had made a deeply favorable impression.

In any case, the 78-year-old German cardinal steadily built support before and during the two-day conclave, according to these accounts. He ate breakfast with African and Asian cardinals. He assured U.S. prelates that he was in tune with their efforts to deal with child sexual abuse by priests. He sought to allay fears that he would set back attempts at interfaith dialogue.

One imagines Ratzinger sitting up late at night making construction paper Vote for Me signs (with appropriate latin campaign slogans) and the taping them up in the Vatican’s halls.

Then the hush spread to the 114 other cardinals as they awaited the new pope’s Accepto, his formal acceptance. In a low voice roughened by a cold, Ratzinger told them he would like to be known as Benedict XVI, honoring Saint Benedict, the patron saint of Europe, and Benedict XV, the pope who tried to stop the First World War.

Later, in the privacy of his Pope pied-a-terre he pumped his fists, let out a Napoleon Dynamite ‘yessss….” and did the Pope victory dance.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....