Dean Cain gets all the cool wife-killing roles

We find out through World O’Crap (…and boy, isn’t it?) that the Terri Schiavo movie is in the works:

CBS is rushing a Terri Schiavo TV movie into production so that it can air the biopic during the May ratings sweeps.


CBS’ Terri story reportedly will feature “Felicity” star Keri Russell to star as America’s tragic heroine and Dean Cain of “Lois and Clark” as the husband who relentlessly seeks an end to her life.

You may remember that Dean Cain recently killed his movie wife Laci Peterson in The Perfect Husband, so you know that he knows what he’s doing. Cain is also in line to play other famous wife murderers including Claus von Bulow, OJ, Henry VIII, Robert Blake, and Dick Cheney (this one is still in development).

We were also happy to see that Keri Russell was selected to play the part of Terri Schiavo because of the eerie resemblance. Earlier the producers broke off talks with perky TV mom Patricia Heaton over “artistic differences” because Heaton wanted to have the Schiavo character rise from dead and give birth to the Baby Jesus. The producers felt that was a little “too PAX TV”.

The working title for the bio-pic is Terris Schiavo: I Want To Live, or, if you’re a Schindler, Terri Schiavo: Awwww Whaaa.

No word yet on the Broadway musical: Terri! which has completely stumped famed choreographer Twyla Tharp.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....