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Male Pride: "Maybe it is a woman’s world, but when they f-ck it up it will be ours again"

I think today is the day to come across particularly unhinged thinking. I was surfing about and stumbled upon what looks like a joke essay, Male Pride, at GOP Nation (“For Republicans, By Republicans, the GOPNation’). The author of this is Dallas Claymore “a writer from Wisconsin writing a book on sex, women, and conservatism.” May the man stay clear of the voting booth.

I had to google the guy to see if he’s just surfaced for April 1 festivities, but you can find this mind-blowing crap on Mens News Daily, and here and here. The Freepi have been eating this up.

This is right out of a Rush Limbaugh feminazi-bashing handbook; I had a hard time picking what to excerpt because it was all so unbelievably ludicrous.

Christ was a man, Moses was a man, and Mohammed was a man. The conclusion that I draw from this is Thou shalt never apologize for being a man.

…It seems that being a man puts you at a moral disadvantage when dealing with others. Indeed, maleness is the height of social unacceptability. We are the target of endless quips, digs, and are even lampooned in greeting cards. Misandry is prevalent throughout the media, television programming, and feature films[ii]. Nowadays, has-been nation states like Sweden seem to exist for little more purpose than preventing women from being oppressed by male urinals or ever having to question socialism. Our universities foment with Womyn’s Studies programs which assert female supremacy while their male counterparts, men’s studies, also assert female supremacy through the offering of courses which “deconstruct” masculinity.

Even with these forces of propaganda aligned against us, let me state unwaveringly that I am proud of being a man and would never have it any other way. After all, are not the words “civilization” and “men” synonymous? Yes, it must tax the brain of even the most hardened radical feminist deceiver to effectively obscure the fact that so many cultural achievements are a direct result of masculine creativity and energy. All of modern life’s infrastructure—homes, buildings, plumbing, clean water, medicine, sanitation, electronics, law, literature, art, and bountiful food—were built or made possible through the sweat and labor of men. A true irony here is that many of the most virulent male-haters are also the people that would fare the worst if they isolated from all of society’s accoutrements. What would they do without their Paxil and Respiradol prescriptions? Our enemies happen to be some of the most pampered and spoiled individuals on the planet.

I also should mention the whole rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence charges that are often levied at men–the phrase “proto-rapist” has even come about for those of us who have never committed a rape but remain biologically male. I am about to make a stunning admission concerning this felonious subject matter, and it may surprise many a reader as I am genitally a man: I have never raped, sexually harassed or committed a violent act against a woman in my life and I never will. The same is true of every friend I have and every guy that I know.

If this is the case, then why are men so routinely the target of such vicious stereotyping and lying? Well, it could have to do with radical feminists defaming us about as often as water cascades over Niagara Falls. If you want to discover just how much they fabricate information concerning our behavior, I’ll refer you to Dr. Boyd’s unbiased account in Big Sister: How Extreme Feminism has Betrayed the Fight for Sexual Equality. There you can really witness the way in which feministas manipulate statistics.

…It is clear that men and women have equal means of intelligence, but all analysis of psychometric results showcases men having considerably more overall scatter within their profiles than women. More of us are found on the extremes which half the time is not such a good thing at all. Mental retardation, just like genius, is most often a “male thang.” The history of men is a tale of valiant heroes and spectacular failures, and I suspect the future will not change this.

[This paragraph left me howling…does this guy need a date? Is Homer Simpson writing this?]
…How many times have you been in some overpriced trendy chic restaurant and looked at the menu and groaned, “Why me?” Yet, it always is you and it’s always you who gets stuck with the bill, but it is rarely you who finds any value in 25 dollar entrees. Many of these premium dinners are inferior to the stuff you buy at the stadium or cook on the grill, yet it is you who still has to take the beating. On top of having extortionary prices, those places make you leave hungry which is reason enough to stick to pizza. However, regardless of how insane the whole cash squandering thing is, we are forced do it because women expect it. If it were up to the majority of men, flamescent cute eateries would go the way of the New Jersey Generals (opaque USFL reference there). We don’t need that kind of stuff. It’s superfluous to good living. If the tables were turned, think of how easy dating would be for women. If they took us out do you think we would send the food back or criticize anything about the place? Hell no, because it would be FREE which is the most blessed word in the English language. Who cares about what’s served as long as someone else pays for it? There it is plain and simple.

Being a man is all about having simple rules for a simple, but content, life. The days are unpretentious and uncomplicated. Who would want it any other way? So maybe “simple” is not such an insult after all. Traveling light is a good thing. Being immune to the allure of gimmicks and baubles is reason enough for male pride. Perchance the status quo is “a woman’s world.” My answer to this eventuality is, “Maybe it is a woman’s world, but when they f-ck it up and it will be ours again.” Then it’ll be time for tools and boots once more.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding