The fluid that was my brain belongs to Daddy

Let’s see…..the Save Schiavo Shock Troops, having lost at every legal level, have exhausted their bench (Tom DeLay? Jesus, if someone gave Tom DeLay twenty bucks on the sly, he’d slip into Terri’s room and Orkin her ass in a minute) so they’ve turned to the heavy guns.

Patricia Heaton. (Mom-looks, on TV’s Everybody Loves Raymond or Home Improvement or Yes, Dear…who the hell knows, they all look alike. That Patrica Heaton):

Two-time Emmy winner and New York Times best-selling author Patricia Heaton pled for the life of Terri Schiavo today as Terri’s life-sustaining feeding tube was removed. Heaton serves as Honorary Chair of Feminists for Life of America.

“We must not let Terri Schiavo be starved to death,” said Heaton. “This deliberate and painful destruction of a woman’s life cannot be justified or tolerated. Terri deserves better.”


The star of Everybody Loves Raymond says she is outraged. “By his actions Michael Schiavo has demonstrated that he should not be the one making the ultimate life or death decisions for a woman who, only in legal terms, remains his wife. His belief that this was Terri’s wish counters the views of Terri’s family who, no doubt, know Terri well. Removal of a feeding tube will result in a slow starvation that is cruel and painful.”

“Feminists have always challenged the idea that married women have no rights of their own,” said Heaton. “A husband should not be granted absolute control over his wife’s fate, especially a disaffected husband with dubious motives.”

“Terri has parents whose unselfish desire is to simply love her, care for her and let her live. She is not in a comatose state and she is not suffering from terminal disease. Terri may no longer be perfect or complete but she has a fundamental right to life. Her feeding tube must be re-inserted.”

Because as a feminist, you can separate yourself from your husband, but you will always belong to Mommy & Daddy.

…and speaking of brain death, La Noonan was in Full Metal Elian Mode today:

At the heart of the case at this point is a question: Is Terri Schiavo brain-dead? That is, is remedy, healing, physiologically impossible?

No. Oddly enough anyone who sees the film and tape of her can see that her brain tells her lungs to breathe, that she can open her eyes, that she seems to respond at times and to some degree to her family. She can laugh. (I heard it this morning on the news. It’s a childlike chuckle.) In the language of computers she appears not to be a broken hard drive but a computer in deep hibernation. She looks like one of those coma cases that wind up in the news because the patient, for no clear reason, snaps to and returns to life and says, “Is it 1983? Is there still McDonald’s? Can I have a burger?”

Again, life is mysterious. Medicine is full of happenings and events that leave brilliant doctors scratching their heads.

It also leaves editors at the Wall Street Journal scratching their heads. “Who hired her and why doesn’t she understand that Terri Schiavo’s brain is liquified?”

(A handy tip: Peggy Noonan doesn’t have a feeding tube, but if you slipped into her place and broke all the highball glasses you would get the same result. You’re welcome.)

Our differences with the right come down to this:

We see Terri Schiavo as a person who no longer has any higher brain functions, emotional responses, and who lies in bed each day unable to communicate with her fellow humans or perform any physical tasks. She is a sad case without a future or possibilities.

Republicans look at her and say, “Hey. That’s our base!”

And, as Steve points out, a handy talking point to boot.

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