I am part of the solution and part of the problem

We ended our fiscal year at work this week and it was a LONG WEEK. Therefore, I was in no mood for being a good parent when I came home last night.

Me: (entering living-room and flopping across the loveseat like an extremely tired invertebrate)

Mrs. Tbogg: We have a dilemma.

Me: (groan) What do you mean by “we”?

15 year old daughter: Tuesday is (name of boyfriend)’s birthday and I don’t know what to get him.

Me: Why don’t you just give him a hickey and take us out of the loop.

Daughter: (Imagine a look merging all the best qualities of horror, shock and disgust)….

Mrs. Tbogg: I can safely say that no father has ever given that advice to his daughter in the history of mankind.

I like to think that I’m providing her with something to tell Oprah someday.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....