Does this dick in my mouth make me look gay?

Among the more laughable questions and answers with Jeff Gannon over at Lifelike Pundits (who indulge in a several Gannon-like questions):

4. Suppose you are gay, how would you reconcile that with your conservative beliefs? Do you see a conflict?

Gannon: You are asking me to comment on a hypothetical.

5. You mentioned on your website that: “Like all of us have at one time or another, I made poor choices and exercised bad judgment. But I believe in a forgiving God who changed my life. It was through that renewal that I went on to have a career as a reporter and further blessed to become a White House correspondent.” Please describe your relationship with God. Again, supposing that you are gay, how would you reconcile that with your religious beliefs? Do you believe a person can be both gay and religious? Do you believe a person can be gay, religious and a conservative?

Gannon: Again, you are asking me to comment on a hypothetical

Dude. You advertised yourself on the USMCPT Web site as:

Ex-USMC Jock: Available for hourly, overnight, weekend or longer travel – OUT ONLY!

Personal Trainer: Safe-Sane-Strenuous-Satisfying workouts, Sports training, and competition, especially wrestling….

Big SPORTS Fan: Will go to the game with you, then take you home and….


That’s not hypothetical. That’s gay. Way gay.

And yes, we have all made some mistakes in our past. For some it was a bad haircut or buying a Night Ranger CD or maybe it was joining a fraternity. But posting pictures of our 8+ inches on the internet isn’t one that many of us have done. And maybe God will forgive you (although I don’t imagine he’s too impressed with 8+ inches his being God and all), who can say? But it’s pretty obvious that you’re not going to admit to being gay (which you are) because then that book deal you’re looking for might not materialize since that would take you out of the Regnery dating pool.

Not that LifeLike Pundits were going to let it go:

9. Are you gay?

Gannon: I know my answer will disappoint your readers, but this is a personal matter that I don’t consider relevant to the story. I will say for the record that it is not for me judge others on the basis of their sexuality, that is something for them to reconcile in their own lives.

They wasted three out of ten questions on the obvious and came away 0-3.

Then Lifelike Pundits give up and let Jeff have his way with them:

10. Many blogs “carried the water” in your defense while you were silent. Is there anything you would like to say to those blogs and to your supporters at large?

Gannon: I am grateful to those who both publicly and privately expressed support for me over the last few weeks. They have focused on the important elements of this story and realize that Gannongate is another skirmish in the ongoing battle to have a truly free press – one that includes conservatives. To them I give heartfelt and hearty thanks.

I have never asked anyone to defend my personal behavior, that is my responsibility and I will fully deal with that at some point in the future. But for now, I have work to do. I’m bruised but not broken, and I’m ready to get back in there. I think this has moved the ball down the field and look forward to being in the game.

That’ll be $200. Cash or charge?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....