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United Church of Christ welcomes SpongeBob

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“Absolutely, the UCC extends an unequivocal welcome to SpongeBob,” said Rev. John H. Thomas, the UCC’s general minister and president. “Jesus didn’t turn people away. Neither do we.”

Thus ends SpongeBob’s dark night of the soul after he was outed earlier this week by serial media clown James Dobson. Rumor has it SpongeBob had not come out to his family yet, and was subsequently denied participation in their celebration of Mawlid an-Nabi later this year.

(Thanks to Mike Lepo for the tip)

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Jane Hamsher

Jane Hamsher

Jane is the founder of Firedoglake.com. Her work has also appeared on the Huffington Post, Alternet and The American Prospect. She’s the author of the best selling book Killer Instinct and has produced such films Natural Born Killers and Permanent Midnight. She lives in Washington DC.
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