Feith and Friends
I bow in the general direction of James Wolcott:
However, I can exclusively report that the Pentagon’s gain is broadcasting’s loss. According to my highly placed imaginary sources in a certain skyscraper on Sixth Avenue, Feith has just been signed by Fox News, which intends to build a weekend show around him called “Feith and Friends.”
Breaking the news to the wage slaves and overpaid hosts at Fox, Roger Ailes said, “When I heard that General Tommy Franks had described Feith as ‘the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the planet,’ I knew he was the man for us.” Ailes took a George Burns draw on his cigar. “But I was also taken aback, since I thought we already had the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the planet listed on our payroll,” he said, stealing a sly glance at Sean Hannity, who jovially quipped, “I guess that makes me the second fucking stupidest guy on the planet!” “And me, third!” piped up Cal Thomas.
Morale is very high at Fox News these days. They’re swearing like sailors over there.
Asked whom the “friends” on Feith and Friends might be, Ailes said he was already in contact with Armstrong Williams and Maggie Gallagher. “A black conservative on the take, a white woman on the take, and the fucking stupidest guy on the planet–sounds like the right mix to me. Certainly no one can say Fox News isn’t doing its part for multiculturalism,” Ailes chortled, leaving the cafeteria staff no choice but to join in.