Jenna & NotJenna: The bimbos of Babylon.
Here we get to don our official Matt Drudge fedora and scream:
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President:
We celebrate with you this week because Christ has allowed you to be His servant in this nation for another presidential term. But already there is a challenge to the biblical norms that you stand for, and it comes from within your very own family. This Thursday, your two daughters, Jenna and Barbara, will appear before the earthly world in attire that cannot be described in any sense as modest.
As you know, dress and appearance are an important reflection of our Christian values. “We are what we wear,” as the saying goes, and according to this edict, your own daughters, bejeweled and bedecked in garments that plunge of neckline and cling of fabric, cannot be said to reflect the deeply-held believes (sic) of the tens of millions of “values voters” who sent you back to that highest office in the land.
As you prepare to lead this country for another four years, remember your role as leader of your own family. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” (Ephesians 5:23)
When you advise your daughters as to the essential importance of dressing to glorify God, remind them of these words from Timothy: “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes.”
You have four years -a brief time only – to leave an imprint for righteousness upon this nation that brings with it the blessings of Almighty God. Do not risk offending Him in these early days of your second term by presenting forth your own daughters as Oholah and Oholibah, who, like Jezebel, painted their eyes and decked themselves with ornaments to entice men to commit adultery with them (Ezek 23.)
Coalition for Traditional Values
Concerned Women of America
American Family Organization
Campaign for Families
Silver Ring Thing
Defend Our Marriages
Baptist Leadership Council
Far be it from me to correct the “values” folks above, but I believe it was Oholah and NotOholibah that were doing all the decking and the painting and the slutty stuff.
Oh, and Dennis Patton from the Silver Ring Thing above isn’t a spokesman for The American Cock Ring Trade Group. Instead it’s these guys, who spend their time convincing dorks (and I’m including the old guy) that they are choosing abstinence when it is abstinence that is choosing them.
Anyway, now that we’ve cleared up the whole Silver Ring Thing, um, thing, we hope that we have helped you avoid any awkward attempts at placing an order over the phone for the Cheney Choker™, what with the “sizing” and “fit” issues and, well….
Oh, never mind.
(Added: It looks like the letter was a fake (I picked it up from The Swift Report). You got me. I should have kerned it, but I didn’t, and now I have to go and fire three producers and a Vice President. Damned Bush economy)