American Idler

Everyone who is in over their head, raise your hand. Posted by Hello

There must be some kind of harmonic convergence that allowed Condoleezza Rice to begin her Senate testimony on the same day that the new American Idol was horked up again onto our TV screens (an event that caused me to avoid the living room in the same way college Republicans avoid signing up for George & Dick’s Excellent Adventure). On the one hand you have the Idol contestants with their manic self-confidence, their sweaty grasping desire, and their bottomless lack of both talent and presence.

On the other hand you have Condoleezza, who…well, you get the point.

Today Barbara Boxer, who should give mensch lessons to Joe Lieberman, smacked Rice around like a whiffleball and all Condoleeza could do was complain that Boxer was impugning her “integrity”, when we all know that Rice lost her integrity cherry back when she called a report titled “Bin Laden Determined To Strike in US.” a “historical document”, and said:

“The PDB does not say the United States is going to be attacked. It says Bin Laden would like to attack the United States.”

There was once a time when someone who failed so spectacularly in their job would have offered up a public apology and slunk off to a think tank where they could keep up the pretense of thinking with the other Not-Ready-for-Public-Consumption Players. But no. Condoleeza now gets the opportunity to continue to fail upward and, in an amazing feat of physics, drag us down with her. And because she has the full weight of George the Conqueror (who has an army and he’s not afraid to use it) behind her, countries that know better will actually have to listen to her, nod knowingly, and pretend that she is good at what she does, making her the Pia Zadora of the State Department.

We should be embarrassed, We should hide our heads in shame that we are so unserious about our place in the world. But when the world is already laughing at our headliner, who’s really going to pay attention to the lounge act?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....