The breakdown of traditions and standards and morals Oh my.

I’m not one to defend the traditional order (although I do think that the ABC song should stay just the way it is otherwise confused and frightened preschoolers will have to have their Ritalin dosage increased to Limbaughian proportions) but I’ve recently noticed a certain breakdown, a lowering of the bar if you will, when it comes to our cultural report card. Maybe it was the bathing-suit competition at this year’s National Book Awards where Lily Tuck walked away with the big literary enchilada by baring her lower-back tattoo of Willa Cather nestled between her adorable butt dimples that made the usually staid judges swoon with delight (not to mention making two of the male judges and one of the women pop up a little literary wood…if you know what I mean and I think you do) that made us appear so…unserious.

So it is with great sadness that I find that the one true arbiter of what is good and true in American culture is now pandering to the masses and, like Lillian Hellman, I refuse to “cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashion”.

This is a travesty:

The People’s Choice Awards have added new categories to the upcoming ceremony, including favorite movies, favorite smile and favorite cartoon star.

There were 14 new categories, including favorite overall movie, favorite movie drama, comedy and sequel.

Additional new awards include favorite hair (Courtney Cox Arquette, Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Garner, Kate Hudson and Charlize Theron), and favorite “look” (Brandy, Cameron Diaz, Hudson, Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman.)

Personally I think it is an injustice to all Americans of diminished capacities to limit “favorite hair” to the media elite when you have women in this country who put almost as much work into their hair as they do pumping out passels of really creepy-looking children. (How Jim Bob ever lost his Senate run with pictures like this is beyond me).

Therefore I’m boycotting the People’s Choice Awards this year which will unfortunately deprive me of my minimal annual requirement of the zeitgeist I might need to get through 2005 since man cannot live by the American Music Awards alone. It’s a sacrifice, but dammit, someone has to do it.

Thank God we still have the VMA’s…

(Thanks to No More Mr Nice Blog for the pix links)



Yeah. Like I would tell you....