CommunityPam's House Blend

Geez. Blogger was down for a good while today. I’ve wanted to post this more-involved essay on our new nightmare.


“The results just go to show that the citizens … clearly understand the value of natural marriage,” said Christina Rondeau, director of the North Dakota Family Alliance, a group that supported the amendment. (AP)

The first thing I thought as the pundits were explaining this “moral issues gap” at 2AM is that the Democratic party is going to tell queer folks to sit down and shut up so they can find a way to win back the presidency. After all, the “marriage protection” amendments passed in all 11 states on which it was on the ballot — that signals to them that “gays pushed the envelope too far” for our increasingly fundamentalist population.

And sadly, I’m seeing the blame game all over the blogosphere too…

THIS is what’s to blame, not the homophobes? Get a backbone people.

Lo and behold, as I predicted, I surfed along and came across a post at Oliver Willis, by ricknro:

I think gay marriage torpedoed us, especially in Ohio. Now, I support a person marrying whomever they choose but America ain’t ready for gay marriage. It’s a wedge issue that made people who otherwise might not have voted come out to the polls in the 10 or 11 states where it was on the ballot. And why’ll they were at it, those close minded conservatives figured that they might as well vote for the crackpot that supported a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage for president.

I think the gay marriage advocates are selfish, single issue voters who pushed an issue that America wasn’t ready for. It took us down in Ohio, in my opinion, and gave us another four years of Bush. Gay marriage advocates need to go away for now. America isn’t ready. We have to get progressives into power first before we take on such a divisive issue.

and this, on DKos:

…Gay rights issues should be ignored and dropped by any future national candidates for President. It should become a litmus test.

I’m now open to an Anti-Gay, Pro-Abortion Democrat in 2008 for President. The fact is, the coalition they now have, we’ve thrown everything we have at it. The only way for sane democratic priciples such as eduction, health care and social security to win is if we do it by dropping Gays and Abortion.

I’m pro-gay with gay parents, and I support Roe v. Wade, but if we are to have a democratic majority again, there must be sacrifice, and these issues must be dropped, and dropped in a public way soon.

by Steven R on Wed Nov 3rd, 2004 at 13:15:31 AST

It’s not the gay community at fault here. It’s the Democrats’ timid response to the Religious Right’s infiltration of the White House and the GOP, which has resulted in open intolerance and bigotry, and the blurring of the line between church and state, courtesy of Rove and Co. Just because the majority of the voters are “not ready for” gay rights, it does not mean they are correct in attempting to restrict them outright with super-DOMAs. Hypocrisy abounds.

Democrats and tolerant people of faith, should never cease to stand up for those in the minority and for our core beliefs of inclusion. People in the faith community obviously struggled on both sides of the black civil rights movement, each side invoking their religious beliefs as justification for their position on integration.

I think the fact that most of the Dem candidates came off as queasy and slippery when addressing the gay marriage issue only emboldened Rove and Co to press it harder. It was clear that most Dems up for election in the red states felt gay rights was a “loser issue” — they wanted our votes and our money, but were willing to cast gays and lesbians overboard in order to get elected (this was the case late in the game in NC for Bowles and Easley). At least the GOP was consistent in its beliefs and actions.

Maybe it’s an abstract concept to some people, but the impact of religious fundamentalism on the GLBT community is already reality in Virginia (and now Ohio) because of their super-DOMA — a gay couple cannot even enter into any legal agreements that approximate marriage, including one involving property rights, and employers cannot grant partner health benefits. Ohio’s governor and business leaders realized their DOMA was too restrictive and didn’t endorse it because of the potential effect it would have on attracting businesses to the state. The homophobes threw that logic out the window, voting their fears.

The moral values of Democrats are ones that need to be framed correctly for that audience of voters that feels the party has gone secular. The GOP has plenty of immorality to show for itself regarding the environment, a living wage, stem cell research, etc. And don’t forget the unbelievable immorality of the situation this administration created in Iraq.

I suppose the solution for gays and lesbians, since we’re causing so much trouble for the Democratic party, is to move to Canada — where marriage is legal — and wait for folks in the U.S. to grow up.

Married in Vancouver, July 2004


I’d also like to post part of a DKos diary by RNinNC on this topic. It sums up the frustrations about this equally well, from a personal perspective:

I’m afraid for my future in this country. There is no way to foresee the destruction to the American way of life which will occur in the next four years. I don’t want to see it.

Last night, any hope of ever being anything but a second rate citizen went out the window for me. I will never be able to marry. I will never have spousal rights. Hell, new sodomy laws are likely to arise making my very LIFE a felony once again. Why should I try to wait this out? Im 36. This will not be fixed for at least 25 years considering Supreme Court appointments.

In my one and only life here on this planet, I demand the right to pursue happiness. This administration has destroyed even the possiblity of this pursuit for me. How can I have a future among the kind of people who would elect this man, who would blindly hate me, who would amend the very Constitution to ensure my subservient place in the societal hierarchy?

Im looking at nursing jobs in Canada and Europe online this morning. Abandon fucking ship.

Here’s another good DKos diary.


And Sully puts in his two cents.

THE IMPACT ON GAYS: I’ve been trying to think of what to say about what appears to be the enormous success the Republicans had in using gay couples’ rights to gain critical votes in key states. In eight more states now, gay couples have no relationship rights at all. Their legal ability to visit a spouse in hospital, to pass on property, to have legal protections for their children has been gutted. If you are a gay couple living in Alabama, you know one thing: your family has no standing under the law; and it can and will be violated by strangers. I’m not surprised by this. When you put a tiny and despised minority up for a popular vote, the minority usually loses. But it is deeply, deeply dispiriting nonetheless. A lot of gay people are devastated this morning, and terrified. We have seen, and not for the first time, how using fear of a minority can be so effective a tool in building a political movement. The single most important issue for Republican voters, according to exit polls, was not the war on terror or Iraq or the economy. It was “moral values.” Karl Rove understood the American psyche better than I did. By demonizing gay couples, the Republicans were able to bring in whole swathes of new anti-gay believers into their party. With new senators Jim DeMint and Tom Coburn, two of the most anti-gay politicians in America, we can only brace ourselves for what is now coming.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding