Reason #23 why Mrs. Lileks is probably having an affair with the night janitor…

Hannah Arendt would refer to him as the evil of banality:

So at Target today I looked at the fine collection of patterned napkins, and chose one that had brown and red leaves. Brought it home, stored it behind the current package of napkins, which – hope against hope – have a nice floral pattern. When I went downstairs to put away the Bounty towels, I discovered that I’d been buying them at twice the rate of consumption; Jasperwood now has enough paper towels to soak up the contents of the Exxon Valdez.

But wait! The thrilling tale continues. While rearranging the towels I discovered another pack of fall-patterned napkins identical to the ones I’d just purchased. I also found another batch of the floral variety. Well, there was just one thing to do, and I think you know where I’m going with this: I moved the fall pattern from the upstairs storage area to the lower, and brought the floral ones back up. Yes. Yes, I did that. That’s the kind of guy I am. That’s the kind of life I lead.

I told this story to my wife when she got home from her High-powered Legal Job, and at first she really worried: he’s the worst kind of crazy. He’s boring and crazy.

Then she realized I was kidding, but if truth be told, I am nuts. I know without question that I will never get to the bottom of the napkins and towels, because I will never let the supply get too low. This is genetic.

I don’t think that Sartre ever envisioned such a bleak screaming void, such a nothingness, as coming home after a hard day at work to: “What I Did Today” as told by James Lileks.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....