Staff Memo

To: All Staff
From: KJL
RE: Quality of work

For those of you who have read the NRO Employee Handbook you may remember that our mission here (see Mission Statement, pg. 4) is to provide incisive political and cultural commentary to our readers while providing a stable of C-list writers with gainful employment in between Fox News appearances (see pages 13-27, 29, 31-43, 49 regarding “talking points” and also “maintaining a straight face when Hannity says something stupid”). Over the past two years we have maintained a consistent level of first quality work if you throw out postings by Michael Graham and Clifford May in The Corner.

On the article and opinion side we are quite proud of our coverage of the war in Iraq which have kept Jed Babbin and Victor Davis Hanson exceedingly busy re-writing Karl Rove memos, and which has had the added benefit of keeping them off of the roof and “thinning out the neighborhood” with high-powered rifles.

Having said all of that I feel the need to apologize for today’s Fever Swamp column by Meghan Cox Gurdon. As you know Ms. Gurdon is employed here at NRO to provide a running commentary of her children (whose names, I believe, are Parsley, Waynette, Hamster, and Castrato…who can keep track?) in an effort to mellow out our grim right-wing vibe. Unfortunately Ms. Gurdon this week chose to anthropomorphize the family rabbit in diary form and the result is somewhere between Watership Down and My Pet Goat but without the compelling storyline. As a rule we usually only attribute human qualities to those who lack them when we are discussing Jonah’s dog or the Derb, so this is clearly against NRO policy (pg. 943) and should prove quite distressing to Mr. Buckley when he comes out of his weekly coma.

In all fairness I take the blame for this editing faux pas since I failed to review Ms. Gurdon’s column, choosing instead to spend the evening watching Outback Jack, followed by a cigarette and a long hot bath. This will not happen again.

Again, my apologies. I am America’s Worst Editor&#153.

~KJ “I wish I was Jennifer” Lopez

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....