Lousy tips, bad haircuts, and nobody gets laid. Nobody. Gets. Laid.

To the bloggers who will be in Boston covering the Democratic convention:

If you walk into a bar and see a bunch of pudgy guys in elastic-waist Dockers&#174, nursing beers and wiping their sweaty hands on their Le Tigre polos while nervously eyeing the one woman in the room…you’ve found the place.

It only looks like a premature ejaculation support group.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....