When he says he’s a “kidder” does that mean he has sex with baby goats*?

Noted klismaphiliac** Bill O’Reilly is keeping those Fox lawyers plenty busy:

FOX News Channel host Bill O’Reilly spoke publicly about the recent threat of a defamation lawsuit from Eric Alterman, whom O’Reilly had called “another Fidel Castro confidant,” calling Alterman a “left-wing loon” and a “pinhead” during the June 15 broadcast of The Radio Factor with Bill O’Reilly. On the previous day’s show, O’Reilly compared Bill Moyers to Mao Zedong; on April 20, O’Reilly compared Moyers to Castro and to convicted serial killer Ted Bundy (but claimed he was joking about the Bundy comparison).


O’Reilly began his discussion on the June 15 Radio Factor by reading from a Washington Post article that reported both Alterman’s threat to sue O’Reilly and O’Reilly’s recent on-air apology to columnist and author Molly Ivins for calling her a “socialist”; then O’Reilly proceeded to explain away his smear of Alterman:

But I — in the beginning, when I called Ivins a soc — I was just making fun of her. And I was just making fun of Alterman, who is a known left-wing loon, and — well, I — maybe I shouldn’t say loon. OK, that’s — that’s probably too much. A known left-winger who you can’t debate with, because he’s, “Oh, no, you’re all the devil — Bush is the devil.” OK, fine.

And I just said well you know … “He’s to the left of Fidel Castro,” or something like that. Now, Alterman, of course, is taking that seriously, and he’s going to sue me. Well, go ahead, you pinhead, I mean ridiculous. You people can smear, can malign, can lie about everything, you know, and then somebody makes fun of you for doing it, “Oh, I’m going to sue.” OK, go ahead, fine.

O’Reilly, who also spends his weekends practicing coprophilia*** when he’s not dressing up as a Catholic schoolgirl****, still seeems to think that his words are somehow a leftwing plot against himself:

You have a movement among the ultraleft to discredit me and Fox News Channel any way they can. … They can’t win the debate. They can’t win the ratings war. So let’s turn to defamation and we’ll hide behind the satirist’s label to defame. We don’t have to be honest and accurate. It’s a charade — people see it for what it is. It had to be exposed, and that’s what that lawsuit did.

O’Reilly is such a tool*****.

* Just kidding
** More funnin’ with the guy
*** This probably isn’t true so I’ll retract it.
**** I’m kidding! I’m a big kidder. What?
***** My lawyers assure me that this is true.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....