Maybe someone should tell him about Oprah…

Lileks suffers empty-nest syndrome:

Didn’t sleep well, and it had nothing to do with the cold. Since it was my morning to take Gnat and friend to the bus for camp, my dreams were given over entirely to the theme of Failing My Duties. I woke about every hour, tried to find a clock, walked around the room, peered through the shades, stumbled back to bed. Then the rain came. Then the rain ceased and the birds arrived with their idiot twitterings. Woke for good a half hour ahead of schedule. But I arrived at her friend’s house on schedule, got them both to the stop, just in time to be 17 minutes early for the bus.

Which was late. Got home around nine, and once again the whole empty day yawned before me. If it had been sunny I would have hit the lake with Jasper and gone to the office, but it was cold. Rainy. Miserable. April. So, office all day! No! Bed. But I couldn’t sleep. I was too tired to sleep. So I slumped in front of the machine most of the day doing busy work and editing the May family video. Again, lunch was tough. I missed her. I ate standing up, which somehow made it a bachelor lunch, then returned to slouching and editing and scanning and resizing and other duties that required no brains. Didn’t even listen to the radio. Silence. Rain.

I was so starved for Gnat that I insisted we play My Litlte(sic) Ponys tonight. I set up the castle, got them out of the bucket, laid out their brushes, repaired the balloon, fixed the door for Celebration Castle. We had fun, but we ran out of characters, so I fetched a Care Bear figurine we’d painted the other day. I improvised some dialogue – incorrectly, it would seem.

He’s just a pitcher of Harvey Wallbangers away from being young Laura Bush….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....