Because there’s only supposed to be one stiff one at the funeral.

According to one of those phony Drudge reports where people who normally wouldn’t be seen in the same state as Matt suddenly become a “top (Kerry, Clinton, Dean, etc.) source”, Nancy Reagan may have ruled out Bill Clinton as a speaker at hubby’s last round-up:

“President Clinton really held out all hope the funeral would be a nonpartisan event, like Nixon’s was,” a top Clinton source said on Tuesday morning. “He’s angry and disappointed neither he nor President Carter have been asked to speak, as of yet.”

The top source says Clinton has been critical that both Bush presidents will address the crowd gathered at National Cathedral.

Nixon’s vice president Gerald Ford did not speak at Nixon’s funeral.

Clinton’s inner circle is convinced Nancy Reagan has personally shut out Clinton from any high-profile participation.

Possibly Nancy wanted to keep day-dreaming mourners from making that leap from Clinton, who got the most famous blow job in history, to the stories about her special talent back in her Hollywood days which supposedly landed her the Great Fellated Communicator.

You may now say “Ick”.

(You see…it’s things like this that keep me from being invited to the Democratic National Convention)

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....