Lawyer, doctor, fireman, cowboy, cage fighter, flamboyant exercise guru….

Remember when little boys wanted to grow up and become, well, something other than an actuary?

Richard Simmons is off the hook — the assault charges have been dropped, Phoenix police say. In March, he slapped Christopher Farney, a cage fighter, after Farney allegedly made a sarcastic remark about the flamboyant exercise guru at an airport. Lawyers say a private settlement was reached.

I’m thinking that Farney said something about Simmons not being real, you know, masculine and stuff….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....