Hands down…the stupidest column of the year. And no, Ann Coulter didn’t write it. Imagine that.

Jeff Jacoby:

Homosexual marriage is not a civil rights issue. But that hasn’t stopped the advocates of same-sex marriage from draping themselves in the glory of the civil rights movement — and smearing the defenders of traditional marriage as the moral equal of segregationists.


For contrary to what Rich seems to believe, when Ezell Blair Jr., David Richmond, Joseph McNeil, and Franklin McCain approached the lunch counter of the Elm Street Woolworth’s in Greensboro, N.C. on Feb. 1, 1960, all they were looking for was something to eat. The four North Carolina Agricultural & Technical College students only wanted what any white customer might want, and on precisely the same terms — the same food at the same counter at the same price.

Those first four sit-in strikers, like the thousands of others who would emulate them at lunch counters across the South, weren’t demanding that Woolworth’s prepare or serve their food in ways it had never been prepared or served before. They weren’t trying to do something that had never been lawful in any state of the union. They weren’t bent on forcing a revolutionary change upon a timeless social institution.


To restore the 14th Amendment to its original purpose, to re-create the Civil Rights Act, to return to black citizens the equality that had been stolen from them — that was the great cause of civil rights.

The marriage radicals, on the other hand, seek to restore nothing. They have not been deprived of the law’s equal protection, nor of the right to marry — only of the right to insist that a single-sex union is a “marriage.” They cloak their demands in the language of civil rights because it sounds so much better than the truth: They don’t want to accept or reject marriage on the same terms that it is available to everyone else. They want it on entirely new terms. They want it to be given a meaning it has never before had, and they prefer that it be done undemocratically — by judicial fiat, for example, or by mayors flouting the law. Whatever else that may be, it isn’t civil rights.

But dare to speak against it, and you are no better than Bull Connor.

Gay couples are only asking for what any other two people can simply request whether they are being married in a church or being married by Elvis in a chapel in Las Vegas. The only difference is that the gay couple happens to be of the same sex. In the eyes of the law, a man and a woman have the same rights in this country. At what point does the artificial institution of marriage trump those rights? Gays aren’t asking for a special “gay marriage”, they are only asking for marriage on “precisely the same terms” as two other people who love each other and wish to spend their lives together. No more. No less.

How hard is that to understand?

Jacoby further writes:

But if anything has King spinning in his grave, it is the indecency of exploiting his name for a cause he never supported. The civil rights movement for which he lived and died was grounded in a fundamental truth: All of us are created equal. The same-sex marriage movement, by contrast, is grounded in the denial of a fundamental truth: The Creator who made us equal made us male and female. That duality has always and everywhere been the starting point for marriage.

Tell you what, Jeff. If the “Creator” has a problem with how we’re misusing the genitalia or how we define marriage, he can always show up and set us straight (pun intended).

Me? I’m not holding my breath…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....