“It’s like a dream come true”, said Clarence, with a tear in his eye…

Justice Thomas showed up early for work today with a spring in his step and a boner in his pants:

Kids, don’t try this at home. The Bush administration’s top Supreme Court lawyer says he typed the words “free porn” into an Internet search engine on his home computer and got a list of more than 6 million Web sites. That’s proof, Solicitor General Theodore Olson told the Supreme Court on Tuesday, of the need for a law protecting children from a tide of online smut.

Internet porn is “persistent and unavoidable,” Olson told the court, and government has a strong interest in shielding teenagers and younger children from it.

The problem, as the Supreme Court has observed before, is that a lot of dirty pictures are constitutionally protected free speech that adults have the right to see and buy. Children don’t have the same rights, but kids and adults alike can surf the Web.

Porn is “as easily available to children as a television remote,” Olson told the justices as he defended a 1998 law that Congress meant as a firewall to shield children.

The Child Online Protection Act has never taken effect. A federal appeals court struck down the law twice, on separate constitutional grounds, and it is now before the Supreme Court for a second time.

Justice Thomas later corrected Solicitor General Olson, pointing out that there are actually 6,367,403 free porn sites, but that only 5,167,343 of them were really worth looking at.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....