Perky Happy Fuzzy Baby Bunnies for Bush

The new and improved Ben Shapiro (see the picture: happy! shiny! unsullied by a woman’s hoo-ha!) thinks the President (white guy, Christian, sometimes doesn’t show up for work…that guy) needs a good slogan:

This message needs to be honed and emphasized. The new slogan adopted by the Bush administration — “Steady Leadership in Times of Change” — needs to go. The slogan aches of uncertainty and fear. It sounds like an investment ad. The Bush administration needs something bold, optimistic and colorful: “A new American sunrise.” Or “America rising.” Or “America on the ascent.”

Let’s help, okay?:

“America! It’s not just for heterosexuals any more…Okay. Actually it is…”

“If you’re reading this, 9/11 wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

“America: Where everyman is a Burger Structural Engineer …now”

“Bush 2004:Less jobs! More free time to surf porn…”

“I lead. You follow. Why think?”

“It’s morning in America…and only Jenna Bush is hungover”

“America: It’s SuperHalliburtonExxonDOMAdocious!”

“Bush and Dick. The way God intended.”

Holy Jonah Goldberg in a Speedo! I smell a contest.

Email me your perkiest Bush/Cheney slogan and I’ll post the best of the best on Sunday night. Remember it has to be cheerful like Rush on a Hillbilly Heroin binge and shiny and sparkly like Mickey’s Kaus’ head. Just put Banalities for Bush in the subject…and, hey, let’s keep it clean, okay? Also let me know if you want your name published.

Winner gets a dream-date with Neil Bush…but then, who hasn’t had one of those?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....